Too old for another child?

[ineedsummer1]

I’m 38 and DP is 56 - we both have children from previous partners, his are grown up and my youngest is 11.
I didn’t think I wanted anymore children but I’m feeling really broody... I’m not sure he does as he’s so much older than me and says he’d be the oldest dad in town, am I bring unreasonable?
I’ve just started a new career too so not the best of times

If I were you I wouldn't have another one. You're not too old but your DP is. And if you're career is taking off that's exciting in itself. I'd just enjoy your life together and think of all the things you can do when you don't have a baby/toddler to consider.

It's normal to feel broody. If I'd acted on it every time I felt broody I'd be like that woman who's got 20 kids.

He's too old to have a young child now - or rather if you do have one, think of him taking on more of a granddad's role. Get that career underway, make sure you have lots of interests and focus on that rather than on what might have been.

You're not too old but your dp is.

Agree you're not but DP is.

Too old, I think.

Even if you fell pregnant straight away, and assuming your child would leave for Uni at age 18, you'd be 57 and your DP would be 75.

Don't you want a period of time after DC leave home, where you and your DP can be footloose and fancy free?

Just because you feel broody doesn't mean you should have a baby or even that you REALLY want one. It's hormonal and very common at your age. If I were you, especially given your partner's age, I wouldn't have another. Enjoy your life and look forward to the new chapter of being able to live for yourself.

I had our youngest when I was 38, and I can tell you I had some people be foul to me. I was told I was a selfish bitch and I was sure to die before he grew up and he'd be left on his own. I have no regrets, obviously it would have been better to have them when I was younger but that was not to be. Having said that I'm close to your husbands age now, I really don't think I could do it at this point in my life.

Do you want another child together and right now? I'm pregnant and 37 and I definitely don't feel too old, though my first will only be 5 when this baby is born (also just started a relatively new career, well, same career but I finished a postgraduate degree so new opportunities and responsibilities as part of my career). Perhaps less of an issue as it was always the plan for us to have two and we wanted a large age gap and we didn't start until I was 32, so no surprises to either of us that we are still having babies at this age.

I can see how it might be different if you have both moved into the phase of life where you no longer expect to be making babies anymore. I think it's normal to feel broody sometimes, but for it still not the right time to be making any more babies (I'm getting my tubes tied after this one for exactly that reason, as I expect to be broody, but really and truly I'm done with baby making). Have you talked to your husband? My mum met my step dad in her 50s (post-menopause) and said she does regret that they never had children of their own together, so I can understand how that would be a motivation and you might in the future feel like you wish you had if you don't.

Too old. Well not you but your partner..
My dad was 44 when I was born and it was just about ok, I did get teased slightly as he had grey hair but he was fit and healthy etc
Then my brother came along when he was 52, and I would hand on heart never ever want that for my own child (it's the main reason I've had kids fairly young)
He just could not do what the other dads did, even tho he was pretty fit and healthy
And now my brother is 17 and my dad is an old man, he's nearly in his 70's and although people still think he's just 60 the reality is my brother is going to be without his parents at a pretty young age!
It is really hard seeing my parents struggle with the 'teenage' dramas and raising an autistic lad whilst they should be retiring by the sea somewhere and relaxing!
They are absolutely run ragged and therefore can't spend much time with their grandchildren as they just can't physically do it!
Each to their own tho! Good luck with whatever you decide x