Hi everyone.
I really don't know where to start.
Me and my DS dad split up in June and he moved out of my house. He finally got his new place last month ( he was at a friend's for 3 months) in the time he was at his friends house he never had DS over night ( many reasons). My ex stated that once he got his own place things would be different and he would have our DS and weekends and he works full time.
While this has all been going on the past 4 months My ex and I have been trying to work through our issues but it's just not working now as we are always at each other.
I mentioned he should start paying maintenance for our son which he agreed . As he has him 1 or 2 nights he will be paying full amount. We agreed to an amount and both said let's try to keep CSA out of it ( well he brought it up and I said ok)
He's paid twice (aug & sept) but each time I've had to keep asking for it. We agreed every 1st of the month.
But he's paid eventually and that's that so I let it go.
Only this month (October) he's making every little thing difficult.
So last month it was my birthday ( we were still trying to make 'US' work at the time)
But I didn't have a night out because it was my sister's wedding and hen, so that took over September and money .. so I had planned a night out on 7th October (this Saturday) and my friends are coming from Scotland (where I used to live before DS, moved to be here for ex/son) and last week I mentioned it to my 'now ex' about times of having our DS and I mentioned this night out in message as we were having a happy conversation on WhatsApp then as soon as I mentioned I was going out he stopped messaging me . I asked if he was upset and all I got was abuse about if it was the other way round I'd be mad ect then he avoided messaging me for 5 days but not before a shit storm of abuse. First. He collected our son Saturday and that evening was trying to message me all friendly. I was just civil as by this point being dismissed all week had taken its toll and plus I have the flu and had been at hospital with my chest. So i wasn't in the mood for him to just brush everything under the carpet and act like nothing had happened.
Then yesterday he was texting all fine and as soon as I mentioned maintenance he stopped contact. Well until 19.45 last night when he messaged me "we're on our way"
I had replied where?
He tried to say he was bringing DS back home and I had asked why? Apprantly because it's Sunday . To which I replied you have him until Monday. Then he tried to say no, it's just Saturday night . So we argued about this as we agreed Saturday night & Sunday night. He also said he's not paying maintenance because I don't deserve that much and that the money is for me not DS. Which I had issue with and called Him 'disgusting' & 'vile' to say that .
So here we are it's Monday and I get a message this morning saying ' I hope you're up, we are on our way'
Then 40 minutes later another text saying " turned around traffic is too bad . is gonna have him until i finish work" ( blank is his sister)
Then another message 10 mins later saying " it will be tomorrow now"
So I messaged as I just knew he is doing everything to get out of paying maintenance. He also suggested he has our DS for 4 nights and me 3. He said he will have. Him from Friday until Tuesday. The problem I have with this I'm DS mother and currently do not work, DS is 16 months and until he's at nursery I can do much.
My ex works full time 10 hour days from home and driving around. He can't give DS his full attention except weekends and that's not fair on DS.
I just don't know what to do. He's very inconsistent with everything, contact, times and dates. Just when it suits him.
So what Do I do? take this to court? Contact CSA
I'm really just looking for more advice and peoples experiences.
I moved from Scotland leaving all my friends and mum to be here for my ex so he could be apart of our son's life and see him. I just don't know what to do now 