Kids playing, over intervening!

[Missushb]

Is there such a thing? When my ds (5) gets together with his cousin (3); my husbands sisters daughter, they play well, love seeing each other but naturally as they are kids they have a few tug of wars over toys, usually my son toys, he will bring over paw patrol toys or transformers, she'll want a turn- fair enough but wants it when he has it, again usual children's behaviour.
However my sis in law is increasingly annoying me with pandering to her dd, the dd wants something and if she doesn't get it immediately bursts in to tears, so then her mum and dad get annoyed at my son for not instantly giving up his toy that he is playing with. "Oh you've not to get a turn" was today's offering! Totally blown out of proportion.

This is the reason kids aren't allowed toys in school, leave his stuff at home and let her share her things.

That's a good idea, thanks. It's usually at grandparents house and it's to amuse him so he's for toys to play with, but you're right, if he doesn't take anything there should be less drama!

My GM had a box of kids toys

Chalks, black board, little cars, coins, nothing too big and all the grandchildren love this little tiny box of things. She adds too it from charity shops now and then and they think it's magic! Can you ask them to provide a box to keep at theirs?

Wow, how cringe and embarrassing
If anything, I'll tell my son to stop crying and let others take a turn or go find something else, almost siding with the other child for the sake of politeness and not being a coddling and pandering and teaching him he doesn't always get his way
I wouldn't even know how to deal with parents like that without getting passive aggressive and turning to my son with something like yes, sometimes we have to deal with this kind of behavior, but you can always be the bigger person. In reality I'd probably sit there slack jawed and not have my son play with her again.

They do have toys at theirs, and it does happen a bit with those toys, but definitely not as much as when he brings his own ones!
I think my niece plays up when her parents are there; she's in hysterics about 5 times during a 2 hour visit!

I know Dustbunny, I would usually side with the other child! Tell my one to find something else! but sis in law totally panders to her DD.

What bugs me is how my son is portrayed as the big villain because of the constant crying hysterics! For playing with his own toys! I do always think of things to say after the event, when it happens I'm usually struck dumb! Then moan at dh when we get home!

Dd had a friend like this. We stopped seeing them, they were so annoying.

Tricky if it's family. I would suggest taking along two of the same thing - then they can have one each. Two identical things it would have to be though.

I know. I would quite happily stop seeing sis in law! It was very helpful the poster who mentioned if it were your child doing the crying. I would be annoyed at my child having that carry on, I wouldn't expect the other child to give up something because mine cried! That may be a way of objecting next time, without being over dramatic!

There is a parenting theroy that you shouldn't teach kids to share.

Giving a toy over to someone just because they want it it unrealistic. You wouldn't give someone your car, just because they wanted it or to go for a ride. So teaching kids to hand over their stuff just because the other desires it teaches the wrong message. To both sides

I know, I think it's pathetic just pandering immediately, and it really annoys me my son can't just play with his own toys in peace. It's the parents reaction that annoys me; immediately, their DD is to get the thing. How can I calmly tell them to give my son doesn't have to hand it over?!