My mum is obsessed with online dating

[puglady]

And it's getting ridiculous.

She's 66 years old, she won't entertain anyone her own age, she's talking to multiple men at any given time, she's permanently glued to her phone and her tablet, she meets more than one person in a day, she's spent the weekend with someone hundreds of miles away the first time they met (he was 25 years younger) she's looking for someone she can move in with so she can sell her house. She's ratty when she's out as she wants to get back to her tablet or take a call from a man.

Her house is a mess, she barely acknowledges family when they're in the house, she doesn't care about anything but her phone and these men.

She's lost lots of weight, is dressing very young, is very concerned with her appearance, lots of make up and is taking and sending risqué photos.
She gets very angry if someone or something gets in the way of her plans.

This is not my mum and I'm worried sick. Is she having some kind of breakdown? I feel like I've lost my mum and it's awful. I don't know what to do.

My mum was just like yours op @puglady.
She just totally "lost it" in late 2010, early 2011. She had split up from her long term partner of twelve years in the summer 2010 (over money issues) which we all completely supported her with as neither party was happy, and by December January time ((admittedly with my support)) she had set herself up on online dating and began to see a string of men. At one time, she was seeing two at the same time, playing one off against the other. Neither was particularly nice, in brief: one was an alcoholic and the other who she moved in with for a very brief time was abusive. After a long and complicated saga, she did end both of those "relationships", and she was single again by December 2012. Just three weeks after she had detangled herself from Mr Abusive, she met the man she would (unfortunately) go on to marry (within 18 months, much to our horror) he has stolen her credit card, run up countless debts and is a pathological liar. He has isolated her from all her family. Worst of all it has drawn a wedge so deep between my mum and her daughters things will never ever be the same, and still she will not leave him. She is still young (55) but I think she feels trapped now she has married him. (Not that she would ever admit it, she just says I love him, we get on so well 🙄) He came to the relationship with nothing and she has a lovely home etc. It's a total mess.

Sadly, it seems these meetings aren't so much dates as rather seedy hookups, which are potentially very dangerous for your mother.

Is it compulsive? Is your mother (no gentle way to ask this, sorry) doing it for money? Is her decision to sell the house connected to this behaviour, and if so, how?

I think telling your brother, and telling your mother what you know, is the first step in getting your mother to tell you what is going on.

In many ways it isn't your business as some posters have said.

However, the fact that you pay her mortgage and she is planning to sell up but hasn't revealed this to you makes her state of mind and well-being your business, including this aspect of her behaviour.