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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've made a horrible mistake

4 replies

Naturebabe · 01/10/2017 14:33

Help! 2 years ago bought my dream house with dp, it's not flashy, but it's an old house with character that hugs you when you walk in the door.For a battered and bruised by life 40 year old like me, it feels like heaven. But after I went back from my 2nd maternity leave my colleagues started treating me badly, ignoring me, making me feel unwanted and not good enough. At the same time, my relationship with the children's dad was turning to shit, he was verbally abusive and negletful and I just wanted to get me and them out of it.

I applied for an external post in a small city just under 3 hrs away and got it. It seemed exciting and difficult to turn down given the above troubles. People were pushing me to take it (including my ex-boss!) so after some agonising I have.

But it's worked out that ds doesnt want to change schools as he has great friends there (I had a horrendous experience of changing schools at his age). As dp has no steady work, it has ended up that he is at our old house with the kids all week, and I am commuting to see them at the weekends.

I feel truly broken. They are close to me, but I can feel them slipping away. I can't work and care for them in this new full time job. I feel like dp has 'won'. should have stuck with my old job, which was part time. I feel like I didn't realise what I had with my old job and have thrown it away....

Help!

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 01/10/2017 14:37

Go back to your kids, they are more important than ANYTHING.

Naturebabe · 01/10/2017 14:43

Yes but I am the sole breadwinner and they need food in their bellies and a roof over their head. How do I go back to them and keep my job? I have the mortgage in my name etc, and most of the bills.

OP posts:
Desmondo2016 · 01/10/2017 15:15

Speak to your original company? Apply for other stuff. Tell dp to get a steady job to take the pressure off you...

Naturebabe · 01/10/2017 16:01

Yes those are thoughts Desmondo. I'd feel a bit sheepish talking to my old company and they are trying to make savings. The area is not as good for opportunitites as this new area :( feeling shit.

OP posts:
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