Pregnant and the timing is terrible

[Headoverheart11]

I am pregnant.

The timing would never have been good (I don't want any more children) but we already have 3 kids, and DH recently lost his job. He is now workjng again but it is to cover people rather than on a permanent basis.

I don't want to terminate but I don't want a baby either. Part of me does. Part of me is thinking about names and cots and cuteness. But it is a lifetime.

I just don't know what to do. I can't confide in DH. He's Catholic.

I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant with my dd. I followed my instincts even though that outcome was massively disruptive. You'll get to the right answer.

Do you have anyone in rl to talk to? I did find the local clinic really useful. It definitely consolidated my decision.

Really hard, I'm sorry x

You have to. Two of you made this baby, two of you need to talk out options (though I believe you have the casting 'vote' so to speak).

If you did decide to terminate would you be able to keep that a secret from your DH?

Is there a friend you can talk to?

If I talk to DH about it, I'll end up having the baby which is why I kmow it is a decision I need to make alone.

I just feel pulled in two different directions.

Terminate if you think you can live with the secret.

Catholic or not you need to talk to your DH in afraid.

I had a termination when I was younger, I already had one DD and had just returned to university and my relationship with exDP had broken down. I knew as much as I could have stretched myself and found a way to manage, that I'd struggle to finish uni and get a good career etc, it was terrible timing.

Although I've had problems conceiving since, I have never regretted the choice I made.

Its hard when people make statements like "if you can live with it etc" but, IMO, it's only really hard if you aren't sure/feel pressured etc.

What a situation to be in OP, I'm so sorry.
I would struggle massively with this. A fourth child would break me and us, but having had children the thought of termination is impossible. My husband recently had a vasectomy. Once you have made your decision, whichever way you choose, would your husband consider this?

Possibly. I have terminated a pregnancy before but it is so hard because once you have had children, you see the termination as them, i know this makes no sense.

How can you kmow what is for the best?

You can't, can you? Whatever I do in a sense is going to be wrong.