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Original poster

Husband emailed other woman

42 replies

Sunpainting · 01/10/2017 13:36

Feeling so sick. I found an email my husband has sent to his colleague who he had a short affair with before we got married. I didn't find out for 3 years then it came out when our baby was only a few months old, as well as a few other cheating episodes. Due to how long ago it was and the fact that we have a child and home together I decided to forgive him.
He said I could check his phone etc and I found an email he'd sent her saying sorry things hadnt worked out with her current boyfriend, that he's sure she will find someone else and that he'd had a dream about her the other night where she'd invited her into the shower.
Am I overreacting or is that just a totally inappropriate Email to send her considering they had a fling and we are trying to rebuild trust? I'm torn between maybe I'm making too much out of it to why the fuck is he sending her an email like this?

OP posts:
notacooldad · 01/10/2017 14:44

You've got some decision making to do.
It couldn't be anymore obvious that he fancies his chances with this woman.
Don't make excuses for you and don't pin the blame on yourself. He knew he was at last chance salon and he chose to blow it.

Gather your thoughts and get everything organised. Have you taken a photo of the email so he can't pretend it was all jokey and you've read it wrong.

Hope you stay strong.

LittleBooInABox · 01/10/2017 14:46

It was a friendly email up until then it about the shower. I'd ditch him Op, a leopard and all that.

userxx · 01/10/2017 14:50

Are you ever going to be able to trust him again? He has form, he isn't going to change. You get one chance at life, don't waste yours on him, is isn't worth it.

Branleuse · 01/10/2017 15:09

you dont sound weak, you sound like youve got a cheating dog for a husband. Only you can decide if thats what you want from life x

JigglyTuff · 01/10/2017 15:16

I'm afraid that he's taken your forgiveness and just thrown it on the floor and shat all over it.

That would be it for me in your shoes. He's a cheating bastard and he isn't going to change.

schoolgaterebel · 01/10/2017 15:26

You don’t sound weak, you sound devoted. You are someone who takes 10 years history and sharing a child together very seriously.

He is not like you though, he is incapable of changing his ways. Get out now before you turn around and 20 years have passed and he’s still cheating.

f83mx · 01/10/2017 17:56

jeeze you've given him a massive second(third/forth?) chance here and he's sending crap like that - i would be absolutely fuming.... totally totally inappropriate. The problem is now he will just get better at hiding things, very unlikely he will stop if he's already a seasoned cheater. Think long and hard but honestly you deserve better than being shat all over.

Original poster
Sunpainting · 01/10/2017 18:53

I think if I confronted him he'd play it off as harmless banter. The thing is even if it was just that, he shouldn't be emailing her. I don't understand if he really does want her, he could have been with her when we separated. I know I shouldn't blame myself, I realise that I didn't make him send that email, I guess I just think perhaps I'm having too hard a time forgiving him and he's feeling rejected. I don't know. I know his child adores him and it would devastate him to live apart

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/10/2017 18:58

A "few more cheating episodes" ?

How many will it take before you accept he is not going to stop ?

You don't know the half of it, I think

LilaoftheGreenwood · 01/10/2017 18:58

It isn't harmless banter Confused, why are you even entertaining the possibility that telling a previous affair partner he had a sexual dream about them is harmless banter?

newjobblewobble · 01/10/2017 19:03

It's not harmless banter, and even if it was, it would be completely disrespectful to engage in it given the circumstances - therefore not harmless!

And who cares if he feels rejected? Isn't that how you've felt when he's been cheating on you?

Original poster
Sunpainting · 01/10/2017 19:03

Because I guess I just can't handle the reality in all honesty.

OP posts:
newjobblewobble · 01/10/2017 19:07

Sorry Sun Sad You and your DC have done nothing wrong, and you deserve so much better. Go and get it for yourself, but because I don't think you'll ever get it from your husband.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 01/10/2017 19:10

He's a dirty dog who's out for whatever he can get. This won't get better. What a despicable man. Leave the bastard.

SandyY2K · 01/10/2017 19:12

It you aren't leaving him... I personally don't see the point in confronting.

How about you keep an eye open and see if he continues to email her.

Your DH has cheated more than once.... he's not trustworthy.... this is who he is.

AnyFucker · 01/10/2017 19:52

Make sure you use condoms, love. Protect yourself.

schoolgaterebel · 03/10/2017 09:14

perhaps I'm having too hard a time forgiving him and he's feeling rejected

It’s absolutely joy your fault.

Nobody’s marriage is perfect, but the majority of men don’t betray their wives.

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