Suspect partner of cheating

[Shine123]

Hi
My partner of 10 years was away on a stag weekend. Things haven't been to good between us lately, just a bit distant with each other. I'm 7months pregnant and we have a 2 year old.
I checked a couple messages on his phone when he returned and I found one he sent to his friend saying he had sniffed gear of a brasses clit.
I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I have asked him if he visited any strip clubs, brothles he denies it all saying they were just in pubs drinking.
I told him I have a feeling he's not telling me the truth & he said he can't believe wee having this conversation we are his life!
I don't want to bring up the txt as I was snooping. Imjust unsure what to do partly because I'm afraid of his answer.
What if he did do it. How can I trust him, is worth breaking up our family for ?

I agree with pp to ask him straight out. Doesn't sound like banter to me, He sounds vile what an absolute pig.

If he denies it and said it was just banter.
How will I ever really know??

I never understood this on mumsnet.

Let's snoop.
Found some kind of evidence.
Can't confront partner because I snooped.

Wasn't the whole point of snooping, was finding some proof?

I'm not saying go in all guns blazing but that comment he made, deserves some answers.

It's the reality of it.

In tge 8 yrs my DH and I have never once gone through his phone. However I have told him that if I evet genuinely have suspicions of him cheating and want proof I will go through hys phone. So far I've never felt the need, I've not had that guy feeling with him.

Do you regularly go through his phone? Or is this a one off because you had a guy feeling?

*In the 8 yrs my DH and I have been together

Sorry for all the typos!

I use his phone regularly to take photos, send pictures if it's next to me I'll use it.
You right I will confront him can handle feeling like this & the stress can't be good for baby

You definitely need to have a conversation about this. Good luck.

Leave him op. I've got experience of groups of men like this and they'll claim it's just banter but it's not. I'd bet my life's savings that there's more gone on than what you know about. It won't get any better, I'm afraid. I'm really sorry for you.

Agree he will never admit it but I can't imagine that is something you would banter about, it's too specific!

he's sniffing coke of a prostitues clit and you are concerned how he will react with you snooping? Really?
How would he react if you had this kind of banter?
Try it. Talk to one of your friends in earshot about licking a very long line of coke off a massive cock ... see if he thinks it's funny.

You deserve better than someone who snorts cocaine off a prostitutes genitals.

^ this.

And even if it was "banter" - what kind of misogynistic foul "banter" is that? Agree with the poster who said it is vile. It's also very disrespectful to you.

I'm really sorry. I can't imagine being with a man that would even say this phrase, whether he did it or not. 🙁

I'm really sorry. I can't imagine being with a man that would even say this phrase, whether he did it or not. 🙁

Absolutely.

I'm so sorry OP, if he's really done this and isn't just trying to impress his pathetic friends thats truly devastating.

If it were me though I'd be doing more snooping before I confronted him, checking for more messages as well as evidence he might have done this before here (internet history for adultworks, vivastreetetc) phne records, as well as bank statements for large cash withdrawals that coincide with not being at home. I couldn't not, I would have to know - but i recognise that it wouldn't make me feel better.