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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Best friend seeing married man

5 replies

Goodgirl7 · 30/09/2017 21:26

My friend has been seeing a married man for a few months. The guy lives in another town but travels weekly for work and sees her when he travels. Lately he's been travelling down just to see her and they even went on holiday for a week. He first told her that he is separated but living with his wife and two sons. He then later told her that his wife is 'in denial' about the relationship being over. He says they have separate bedrooms but a wife that's 'in denial' would surely not be if she wasn't even sleeping in the same room as him?? He told his wife he was travelling for work reasons when he took my friend on holiday - the lies just make me feel sick!

I am feeling terrible for the wife even though she is a stranger to me and can't believe my friend thinks it's ok to sleep with someone else's husband. I don't think he will leave his wife and kids even though he talks about doing it. Friend knows this is how I feel but it still really bothers me. Can someone help me get over it? It's not even my situation!!!

OP posts:
Jasminedes · 30/09/2017 21:31

I think you can refuse to talk to her about it - point out you love her, but can't tacitly imply your approval, so if she doesn't want to fall out, you would rather not hear about him. That also gives you a degree lf separation from the situation and you can stay far removed.

TheHeronOfHarmony · 30/09/2017 21:33

Not your circus not your monkeys.

You know nothing of the true situation. He could be a lying bastard or the wife could be in denial (people can be in denial about the end of their marriage even when their spouse has moved out) and your friend and he could end up together forever and be the loves of each other's lives.

Agree to disagree with your friend and be there for her however it goes or stop being her 'best' friend if you can't handle that.

PlatformNineAndThreeQuarters · 30/09/2017 21:37

No real advice to give but I understand, I don't think I could see a friend in the same way after revelations like that

Nazdarovye · 30/09/2017 21:41

Stay out of it.

SandyY2K · 01/10/2017 07:37

Tell her you don't want to hear about it.

If she's foolish enough to believe him, then more fool her.

He's not leaving his wife. He's nothing short of a cheating cake eating husbsnd....she's goi my to strung along for plenty time to come, while she's playing the side piece.

Men do leave... but this guy had started of with lied.. so I don't see him leaving.

I see so many OW needing therapy to get over the pain of an affair. They get reduced to a shadow of who they were.

Someone always gets hurt and in my experience..it's usually the OW.

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