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Original poster

A midlife crisis at 25?!

13 replies

Popcorn08 · 30/09/2017 18:35

Hi everyone,

I know this isn't really a relationship problem, but I wasn't entirely sure where to post this!

I feel completely lost as to what to do with my life. I feel like I am having a early mid life crisis!

I feel bored and that everything is stale and stagnant. I know I need to make a change but I have no idea how or what to do.

I am 25, living at home, single with no kids. I've been to uni, and been working for a few years in a job that I thought I so wanted. I'm not happy in my job, I feel unfulfilled and have lost motivation and do not look forward to going. However I have no idea what I would do instead?! I literally have no clue.

I have a good social life, lots of friends, go to the gym and am content with my own company.

I have a lot of savings, however the thought of buying a house, and the mundane day-to-day stagnant lifestyle that I would then be trapped in to makes me feel trapped and anxious.

I know it is normal to go through these phases in life, especially in your 20s when you are trying to figure everything out. But I am scared :(

OP posts:

RustyLeaf · 30/09/2017 18:40

I haven't got anything all that helpful to say OP. Except I used to have a friend who maintained vociferously she had a "mid-life" crisis of sorts when she was in her mid-20s. I knew her in her 40s.

zozozoo · 30/09/2017 18:41

It's a quarter life crisis. It's a thing.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 30/09/2017 18:45

I had that. I recommend travelling. Get a job overseas.

PerfectlyPooPoo · 30/09/2017 18:50

Had the same thing, I was a bit younger but was saving for a house deposit.

Woke up one day and said I'm going travelling. I pretty much haven't lived back in my home country since (bar about 3 years all up). That was 17 years ago!

Go travelling, if you are feeling as you are it's the best thing.

Life doesn't have to be boring and mundane

category12 · 30/09/2017 19:01

Make some changes - do something fun. You're young and the world's your oyster, live a little.

Original poster

Popcorn08 · 30/09/2017 19:03

I have considered travelling, however, it has taken me years and years to save up all this money, and if I spend it all travelling, I will never get a mortgage! Even though I know you are only young once ect..

OP posts:

Offred · 30/09/2017 19:18

My sister felt like you do about the same age. She went travelling, bought a new car, had a lot of fun doing really casual dating for a few years then met her husband and suddenly wanted to settle down. They got married and she had my nephew but they rent as she feels like you about having a mortgage being a tie.

KarateKitten · 30/09/2017 19:20

Sounds like you need to go travelling. Take a year, figure out what you love. See that there's more than the mundane 'become your parents' out there.

Jasminedes · 30/09/2017 19:21

Go travelling. Think of it as an investment. But go for long enough to shake things up, to really immerse yourself. Find casual work. Talk to people. Before you go, put a serious chunk of your savings in an account you can't touch for a while, and put aside a buffer fund for when you get home. Either that, or dream of what you would like to retrain as, and invest in education.

27Feb · 30/09/2017 19:29

I absolutely had this! I was 25, had left uni, got a sensible graduate job, was engaged to the so-so OH I'd been with since uni, but my family liked, had somehow managed to get on the property ladder in a flat I had managed to afford but felt totally swamped by the renovations required, and realised I hated my life, hated my job, and felt sick at the thought of getting married.

Split up with OH, stuck my flat on the market and took off and went travelling. Came back, went back to university, retrained in a different career (which I love) and actually coincidentally met DH a few weeks after I got back from travelling and just before I started uni.

It did take us ten years to buy after that, I admit, but I don't care. It was the best decision I ever made. Sometimes you get into a rut and a 'mid life crisis' or whatever is just what you call the moment you realise that's happening to you.

Original poster

Popcorn08 · 30/09/2017 19:39

Travelling may be amazing whilst you are doing it, but do you not just come home to all the same problems? I guess you would learn a lot about yourself though and change and grow through that time

OP posts:

27Feb · 30/09/2017 19:56

What I found was that travelling gave me the time and space to figure out what actually mattered to me. A lot of stuff I thought were problems just sort of evaporated while I left them alone. Some other things I thought didn't matter, turned out stayed in my head and I knew to deal with them. It brought a lot of stuff into focus, and gave me a broader perspective - I find that sometimes being stuck in one place for a long time muddies that up.

Not for everyone, mind, but it has really worked for me.

27Feb · 30/09/2017 19:57

BTW, OP, you don't have to go travelling, but I think it is worth stepping back and thinking about what you want. 25 is way too young to compromise on a life you don't actually want - now is the time to assess, to work out who you want to be and go for it. Think about hobbies, relationships, careers - whatever.

Don't settle when you're so young. Reach for a few stars!

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