Why am I such a twat?

[MozzchopsThirty]

A string of abusive relationships, an assault
Bit of time on my own
Met a lovely guy who has been so patient, not pushy, lovely contact but not too full on

On Thursday we kissed and it didn’t really do anything for me
I felt my personal space was invaded, I didn’t enjoy kissing him, he stroked my leg and I didn’t like that either!!!!!

I cancelled our dinner date tonight and he’s been really lovely about it

I’m such a nob!!!!

You are not a knob, you are strong, you are stopping a situation your not sure of, you have learned from the past. I think that's positive. Spend more time exploring what you want and building and valuing yourself

If there's no initial physical attraction it will go one of two ways, it will either develop when you get to know him a little better......or not. Maybe a few more dates just to be sure OP? If there's nothing after that, I think you're just not attracted to him in that way.

sadly normal guys can be quite boring/laid back etc and the opposite of the sneaky game playing abusive a holes

You should re consider him to practice saying a regular guy if nothing else

Reconsider dating *

There has to be chemistry, and if you don't feel it, you don't feel it. Not a bad thing or anyones fault. Hold out for a guy that when he kisses you, you forget about everything else and just loose yourself in it. Where you nervous or anxious at all?

Not a knob at all, I'm in a similar situation after a string of bad relationships and assault almost a year ago . I have been on a few dates but just haven't felt it. I have now met someone who so far seems very nice but I'm not sure if I'm feeling it, I'm not sure if it's just because I am petrified of making the wrong choice again or if I just don't feel a connection.

Absolutely to pp

I’m not sure if I’m just afraid of making a wrong decision or missing something
He’s an absolute gentleman and I have thought he’s vaguely attractive for a while but now I’m not sure
Hes only 7 years older than me but looks older than his age I think
I also don’t think he’s as intelligent as I thought

I’m so busy right now I just don’t have time for this stuff

Either you're not ready to date or you're just not into him

Maybe both

I agree re the attraction thing BUT I noticed after a lifetime of abusive relationships that my 'attraction' was set to arseholes. So I only 'felt it' when with an arsehole, and I soon learned that that 'feeling it' wasn't an attraction thing at all but adrenaline. An actual buzz to the dangers!

You may also need to retune your twat radar.

I was in a similar situation Mozz having been in abusive relationships the last one was really bad with horrible emotional and physical violence.
I left it 3years before I dated again and I met a lovely guy but I felt nothing even though he was lovely company and perfect gentleman.

I realised that I no longer had the emotional and physical energy to focus on a relationship...I was drained completely.
So I now concentrate on myself for the first time in my life and I am now quite ok with being in my own company and no longer want a relationship.

Oh look Mozzchops you matter far more than any passing random man, no matter how lovely he is. Have some time off. Put all your energy into you for a change. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated for long enough for it to become normal! That will set you up for a good relationship far better than tolerating someone just because they're not horrible

Thank you so much

You know I think you’re absolutely right.
It’s only been 2 months since my last relationship ended
I need some time on my own
I may never want or need a relationship again
I definitely need some retuning

But the bottom line is I actually have so much going on right now that I’m not able to give anything or share anything

He’s actually text me this morning saying it’s not going to work out
So that saves me a job

Take time out for yourself. Don't date and give yourself a break. When you have the time or desire to date again you will hopefully be able to meet someone nice who you do have a real attraction to and click with.