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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Leaving abusive dh

14 replies

Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 10:06

I've very recently (this morning) left what I am now realising has been an abusive relationship.

I've never been hit, but I have been ridiculed, forced into sex I didn't want and verbally abused.

I have an added barrier to thriving after this as I am disabled (as is my dd) and dh is/was my carer.

I have already had some excellent advice on here, to contact women's aid and social adult services which I will be doing.

I've just started this thread really as a bit of a reminder that it is actually happening and not to minimise it (it's hard to do this when dh starts pleading - yes I've tried leaving before) and to get support when/as things crop up.

With an already hostile relationship with in laws this isn't going to be remotely pleasant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 10:59

As I thought, the begging messages have started to roll in.

I'm surprised, I didn't think he'd be awake before 3pm.

OP posts:
PressForPancakes · 30/09/2017 11:06

Did I see you post earlier on AIBU, OP?

Original poster
Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 11:57

Yes

OP posts:
MonaChopsis · 30/09/2017 12:04

Well done on leaving, Escapee.

VioletCharlotte · 30/09/2017 12:10

Well done on leaving him. Now you need to stay really strong and resist when he begs you to come back. Don't speak to him or reply to his messages. Do you have much support irl?

Akire · 30/09/2017 12:12

Well done first step. Do you have safe place to stay for now?

ClothEaredBint · 30/09/2017 12:51

Well Done!

I'm two weeks down the line and he says he's accepting I've left, but is still holding out hope i'm going to give in and go back to him.

Not a fucking chance.

Stay strong, it'll be rocky, but you've done the right thing!

PressPaws · 30/09/2017 15:14

Well done OP. I saw your other thread, and I'm so glad you've gotten out.

Original poster
Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 15:14

Thank you Flowers

Yes I'm back at home now but all the spare keys are accounted for. I'm going to get the locks changed as soon as I can. Dm is going to be staying with me for a while.

OP posts:
GoldenOrb · 30/09/2017 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 15:34

I've asked him to stop calling/texting but I've had to give up and turn my phone off.

I blocked his number but then he called me from his mums house phone etc.

I'm getting a lot of the 'how can you do this to me?' rubbish.

OP posts:
cordeliavorkosigan · 30/09/2017 15:36

You're doing brilliantly! Keep going and keep blocking, ignoring. He won't change and now you're out!

Desmondo2016 · 30/09/2017 16:05

Get someone else to send him a clear message advising him that you do not wish to have any contact from him and that you will report it to the police as harassment if he continues. Stay strong. It may not feel like it now but good things await!

Original poster
Escapee101 · 30/09/2017 16:07

That's a good idea Desmondo2016

OP posts:
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