Husband's friend

[lovely8]

I really don't like my DHs best friend. He regularly visits strippers and pays for "extras" and on his stag do he brought prostitutes back to the stag house and a few of them, including DHs friend (who was marrying in a couple of weeks) slept with them.

The friend is also not a big fan of me, but I don't know why. I suspect because I'm too straight laced. But it upsets me that I believe he's encouraging my dH he can do better, to leave me etc.

DH wants me to hang around with his friend as part of his friendship group and gets really annoyed if I don't want to. But I really don't want to see this friend. I also feel bad knowing what he got up to on his stag and that his new wife has no idea.

I also worry that maybe DH is very similar to his friend and just better at hiding it which worries me a lot.

I know I can't expect DH to not be friends with him but can I at least expect to not be forced to hang around with him?

This reflects very badly on your H. Of course YANBU to refuse to spend time with the dickhead friend.

Friends close. . Enemies closer. Let him see you are a team - a force to be reckoned with - and have some smart responses to his likely (in his opinion) smart comments. He sounds a delight but I bet you can make him look a twat!!

He won't be a fan of you because he's not a fan of women, except as a set of orifices. Is it possible your DH sometimes blames you for not being able to go out "Have to do such-and-such with the missus sorry!"?

I'm at the point in life now where I don't accept that a nice man can have very shitty misogynist friends. If you were black would he get angry if you didn't want to socialize with a racist? No. But you are supposed to be "cool wife" and hang around with a sexist so you don't rock the boat. Don't dance around it. Explain exactly how this man makes you feel, and question why he likes him. Then tell him you won't socialize with him anymore, no further discussion.

I'm at the point in life now where I don't accept that a nice man can have very shitty misogynist friends.

Yy to this.

if you were black would he get angry if you didn't want to socialise with a racist?

And also to this.

Like gravitates to like, I can see why you're concerned.