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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I salvage my marriage?

5 replies

Differenceadaymakes4064 · 29/09/2017 20:41

6 years, 1 child later and 2 step children. There's been a lot of stress - illness, redundancy, money, death, you name it but everything has been stale for a couple of years. We separated early this year only to get back together for the sake of Ds. We've had sex twice in 6 months, no kissing, he doesn't tell me he loves me and says he finds me unattractive because I'm "fat" (weight gain due to medication from illness). I don't know what to do, he's my DS father and have tried so many times but nothing works. I feel like he can't stand me and constantly puts me down for example I don't do enough around the house even though I'm unwell and work full time. I've tried talking but he just ignores what I say.... feel so negative about myself

OP posts:
Desmondo2016 · 29/09/2017 20:43

I think the question is more 'do you want to salvage your marriage'. Based on this post id be saying you'd be much happier (eventually) ending it.

MummaDeeDee · 29/09/2017 20:43

How awful for you. It sounds like you need a hug and some reassurance and it doesn't sound like you'll get it from him. You've been through all of those things, you're clearly a survivor. Speak to your GP too. Hope things get better for you x

mineofuselessinformation · 29/09/2017 20:48

My answer?
If there's only one of you trying to save a relationship, it will never work...
The party who's trying ends up more and more soul-destroyed as time goes on.
He needs to want it too.

Offred · 29/09/2017 22:49

No, you can't save this.

Saying 'he treats you with contempt' would be being kind to him.

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 29/09/2017 22:51

You can only save a relationship when both sides are making an effort to do so. If this doesn't apply, then no. And it sounds like you will be better off without him.

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