Ok really some dating advice and an impartial view on a situation I've found myself in.
Recently started dating again after a loooooong time single. I feel like everything has changed and I'm really out of touch. I know I'm probably going to come across as a really overbearing over thinker but it's been years since I dated and I've never done the whole text/whatsapp/messaging thing before with dating.
Met this guy online and had an instant connection via messaging each other. We met in person and found that we got on brilliantly and have gone on to have several great dates. He admitted straight away that he's been diagnosed as being Aspergers and that he can be hard to read and sometimes gives off the wrong signals. He then went onto say that he can act uninterested when he's actually very interested.
Things were going really great so we agreed to introduce him to my kids this Monday as I'm a single mum it's hard for me to get out much. He came over for a play session which lead to dinner and then he felt happy staying the night. That night we slept together for the first time. We both have pretty major confidence issues so it was very gentle and tentative and I personally felt it was very special.
Next day (Tuesday) he stayed for breakfast and played with the kids more. I was encouraged by the fact he didn't get up early and run away! :-D
Later that day he messaged me saying he hoped to see me again soon and I replied saying that I'd like to see him too. He then later sent another message totally independently saying "I really did enjoy last night". I was busy on the school run so couldn't reply so he then sent "I hope I haven't put you off. I know I can be hard to read sometimes and can give off the wrong signals" I replied explaining I'd been on the school and said he hadn't put me off at all.
All sounds great right?!
Then we get to Wednesday..... He messages first thing saying he's feeling unwell. There's a significant drop in his messages. But he does send me a photo. I'm thinking it's ok he's probably just feeling awful and doesn't feel like messaging. I send a picture back. There's a brief bit of flirty banter. We arrange to meet on Saturday and then he disappears for the night.
Thursday there are no messages from him first thing in the morning, very unlike him. I decide to let him be, I don't want to message incase he's sleeping etc. Poor bloke is ill after all. By midday he's messaged "Morning xxx" and then "Still feel rubbish. How's things with you? Xxx" I reply and get no response all day. Fair enough. He's ill. But deep down I feel a bit rejected. It's such a reduction in messaging and the whole tone is different.
Today Friday I wake up to message from him first thing. Yippee I think! We're back on track. I reply and he replies after 3hrs. At this point I decide to ask if he still wants to meet up Saturday because I have a rare night off from the kids and if he's going to cancel I want to make other plans, obviously I don't say this to him. I just ask him if he still wants to meet up. At this point he replies saying he's still feeling awful and doesn't think he will make it but hopefully he'll be well enough to meet up. I'm a bit upset as I'm desperate to see him and I feel really disappointed. I decide not to reply straight away and take a bit of time to clear my head so I don't come across in the wrong way. Anyway he sends another message a while later saying "what are you up to?" I don't want to be rude so I reply saying I'm about to go for a run. There's a brief bit of banter and now he's disappeared again.
I think this drop in messaging is only bothering me because it's right after we slept together for the first time. My rational brain says he's ill and probably not up for messaging but my scared, anxious side thinks he's gone off me.
My arguments for "he's still into me" are:
The things he said on Wednesday about how he really did enjoy last night and he hoped he hadn't put me off.
The fact that he always messages first.
The fact that if I don't reply he will send another message
The fact he's admitted he can come across in the wrong way and give off the wrong signals
My arguments for he's gone off me:
He's messaging less.
Looks like he's probably going to cancel our date
Am I just being silly about the whole thing? He's still interested right? Or am I reading it all wrong?
Sorry I know I'm being an idiot but so new to all this and don't want to look silly.