Dont know whats happening in relationship

[Libs1980]

Hi, ive been with my partner on and off for 3 years...heres the ins and outs
Hes 41 has older kids of 21 and 15 where as mine are 9 and 6. He split up with the kids mom when she was pregnant. Hes only had 1 realtionship since which was 8 years ago.
Hes very guarded and says hes scaredd of a relationship. Anyway seeing each other for 2.6 years things happened and he decided he was inlove with and and wanted a relationship.in this time ive met his 21 year old but not the 15 year old.

We had a argument and he said lets just leave things..via text, i tried reaching out to him saying to chat and that i realise he dont want the relationship now but that went ignored. He eventualy got in contact 2 days laters and we met up, we had a kiss and ciddle and he told me he loves me.
This was 4 days ago. Since then hes been sending me the usual morning message, but not ringing me after work as he usually would as hes been going straight to the pub!

I really dont know what to think now. I really dont want to start another argument by questioning if its still a relationship he wants or not!!

Help would be appreciated lol

You are absolutely 1000% wasting your valuable time.

There's not going to be a happy ending here.

Don't pay attention to what he SAYS, pay attention to what he DOES.

Someone's actions always speak louder than their words

Don't chase him. Don't contact him. Never mind if HE wants the relationship - what do you want? To be "on and off", to be kept dangling, to have straightforward questions ignored? Because that's what you will get if you let him carry on this way.

Or you could make a decision to carry on living your life for yourself and your children and leave HIM dangling.

give him space and let him decide. If its to be then he will chase you, far less embarrasing than hassling him. You might come across as a bit needy and although you probaly are not--that may be the way he sees it.

If you're not sure if you're in a relationship, then you are not in a relationship. Actions speak louder than words and by his actions, he's up for fooling around but not much more.

Too scared to commit/ have a relationship is code for, 'don't get too attached, I will call the shots in whatever you want to label this thing we're doing'.