Does counselling make you vulnerable?

[GeriT]

I am very concerned about my sister. She started counselling last year and it has really helped overcome some issues that had plagued her.

However, I would say she was quite a hard arsed bitch prior to counselling and now she is like a little puppy.

I think her BF is manipulating her about whether he wants them to stay together as they have been going through a rocky patch.

She seems to have no BS radar and can't see through his words - she is totally at his disposal and it was never like that prior to counselling.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

I saw this post a while ago, and whilst I felt I couldn't answer it, it is an interesting question.

Some hard-arsed people are simply that. Some are covering up a neurosis, anger or vulnerability that it is not prudent to expose to the world (though most people can see through the angry types and don't want to get closer).

Perhaps some vulnerable, sensitive people need to become a bit more "hard arse" for want of a better word. Counsellors have to be careful with all of this as these can be difficult issues. Its really hard though to know what happened to your sister as we don't know what actually happened to your sister in counselling.

One final thing. IME most counsellors are very "relationship" oriented. So they can't help but think this is a good thing for their client(s). I remember my counsellor years ago being thrilled that I had started dating a new man, and thought I was 'scared' because I was showing my 'vulnerability' (with hindsight I realise I was anxious because he was a tosser but all the red flags were only working at an unconscious level!). Even on MN its leave this (abusive) man and hopefully you will meet another (good) man. Its all about meeting a man, which can make you vulnerable ... to over-emphasising its importance.

P.S. If OP still around, have you mentioned your concerns to your sister?