Not sure if he still wants a divorce...

[User0000]

Hi im new on this and i dont think anyone in rl wants to even consider the idea of me and exh getting back together......i just feel mind boggled and id stopped feeling this way.
Me and exh have been separated since Feb. Hes had a fling in that time and now hes in a proper relationship since june, our 2 dc have met her and he lives with her. We r up and down, one minute he acts like he hates the very core of me. Usually becauae we have argued over something to do with the kids. And the next its like we should never have split up.
Hes told me that he cant see us ever getting back together and hes basically over it. Although i never quite believe him. I dont know why , it just doesnt feel right us being separated. But i took his word for it I've been seeing a counsellor, dating and trying to get on with single life. But i get in the other night and he was settling our son. Something felt different he seemed sad. He txt me when he left and said that he often cries when he leaves but he has to tell himself all the time that everything will be okay.
If being apart is so hard why cant he just be a man and make things right. Instead of faking it til he makes it with a new woman.
I filed for divorce months ago but ive not been rushing to be honest. He doesnt seem sure but if i ask him and he shoots me down i know ill be devestated all over again.
Probably the stupidest boringest post ever so thanx if you've read it.

I think you need to move on. He's not wasted time getting with other women since you split up.

Stay strong and be happy inside and outside. A happy person is someone others like to be around.

I split from my dp years ago and we were apart 6 months. .
Same as you he cried /apologised /made the effort with the dc / helped financially etc.
I was stupid enough to fall for it. So much so we got married!!. Regretted it in 5 days!!
Stumbled on until he nearly killed us drink driving.
I filed for divorce after the police removed him after he tried to push me down the stairs and a kind policeman told me he was a nutter and I needed to get rid of him. .

My ex cried, begged and pleaded for me to take him back for a whole year after we split up. All the while he was in a relationship with the girl he'd been seeing behind my back - telling her he loved her, going on holiday with her etc etc.
I genuinely believe he was sad I wouldn't take him back (it was the second time I'd caught him cheating so that was it) I do think he mourned the loss of "us" as our relationship wasn't miserable by any stretch.
Although, however much he cried to me it didn't change his relationship with her. If I'd taken him back he'd probably just carry on seeing her...

I think him settling your son has made him realise what he's walked away from and that makes him sad. It is sad, but I'd be willing to bet that he's not sad enough to stop dating etc.
Listen to him when he says he's not interested in getting back together, maybe come to an arrangement where he's not in the house with you as a family so he won't have the opportunity to be sad and put you through the emotional wringer. It's tough but speak to your counsellor and try to come to terms with divorce. Dust yourself off and take one day at a time.

Thanx everyone. Its hard for both of us when he has the kids because hes in the house surrounded my familiar things but i guess that's nkt enough. Ive wanted desperately to get back together for months and have just started to come to terms with the fact hes got a proper girlfriend and doesnt want me ever and now i don't know whether he does or not. I suppose i should focus on the fact that if we got back together i wouldn't be able to trust him. My confidence has started picking up ans i wonder if we would be better for that. But maybe my confidence lacked because of him.