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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH and I dont talk anymore....

45 replies

losty · 07/04/2007 20:10

....I know it is all my fault, but I dont like it.

We are on holiday atm, and I have been trying to spend some time with my DH when the DC are in bed. But all he wants to do is sit in front of his laptop. So, consequently, I am sitting in front of mine how sad is that?

I have something important to talk to him about, and said yesterday and today that when the dc are in bed perhaps we could spend some time together. (He is a workaholic and we dont see much of each other usually). But last night he wanted to install vista on his pc - and tonight he is trying to sort out the problems.

We have a lot going on in our lives, and we really need some closeness. And I know I have pushed him away in the past, but I really need to talk to him this weekend.

I cantr bring myself to go and interupt him and say 'listen, I want to talk to you' becdause I know he will be cross and ultimately he wont get his pc sorted. How can I get us both talking again? When we were out today I held his hand. (we dont usually do that sort of thing any more) but we should be talking to each other....

HELP..................

OP posts:
Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:32

yes lulu perhaps. But if I do all that he may thing sex is on the cards, and this is more serious than that. I am taking these wretched pills and I am supposed to tell those around me, and he doesnt know

OP posts:
October · 07/04/2007 20:33

Message withdrawn

FairyEdwards · 07/04/2007 20:33

can you go out somewhere so he is away from his pc? Will all seem strange at first having to talk but then when you get over that you might find ways to communicate.

also maybe you are stressing to much about this, can you have a few drinks and then watch some comedy or something and just have a laugh together?

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:34

prozac

OP posts:
Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:35

we cant go out, becayse we are away and no babysitter, but I am having a drink or two, so maybe I will just blurt it all out later

OP posts:
FairyEdwards · 07/04/2007 20:35

prozac lowers your sex drive.

FairyEdwards · 07/04/2007 20:36

why are you on prozac? Maybe things are really hard for you and you have shut down a bit and now he doesn't know how to talk to you?

DeviousDaffodil · 07/04/2007 20:39

Hide the lap tops.
Go and lock them in the boot of the car.
Get the wine open and get talking.

lulumama · 07/04/2007 20:40

you need to tell him about the prozac......look, from what i know of your situation, it would be enough to drive the strongest person over the edge...you need his support, and to support each other

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:40

I have only been on them a few days, but I do know that about them, and I wait for that to happen.... But fairy, you are right, I things are hard for me atm. My dh and ds are ill and I have just been coping with too much on my own for too long. I have a history of depression but lately things have become worse than ever before and I am in a desperate state. I need help, but I also need him

OP posts:
Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:41

devious that is a v good idea. He left his whirring last night (and even checked it at 4.30am when DS2 woke...) but tonight when he has gone to bed I might sneak down and hide them both. We have become Mr and Mrs Laptop

OP posts:
FairyEdwards · 07/04/2007 20:43

you need some other kind of support too though - it can't all come from within your family as it sounds like there is too much going on.

Get your GP to refer you to a counsellor at the very least - you need a sounding board quick - this is too much for one person and too much for a website.

good luck.

keep posting.

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:44

lulu you are right... and I do believe that I probably am stronger than I think I am, and i am almost at the edge - but how the hell do we support each other????

OP posts:
Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 20:45

yes fairy - I have done that. and i have nagged and asked for it to be hurried up...

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 07/04/2007 21:00

sounds like you have an awful lot going off at the moment, is your DH coping well with his illness? or is he working hard to forget about it?

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 21:02

yes, no, and yes onlyjoking

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 07/04/2007 21:05

i am happy to talk to you on MSN if you like, we have something similar going off with DH health worries and denial.

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 21:09

really OJ? I cant post my msn on here (its my name in rl) is yours printable on mn?

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 07/04/2007 21:14

broadhurst family at ntl world dot com

Original poster
losty · 07/04/2007 21:21

just added you onby joking

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