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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

OK So Can You Help Me Explain this

2 replies

CakeOffBakeOff · 28/09/2017 01:53

I had a high pressure work assessment for a major promotion. It was an all day affair with several interviews, performance tests and things. Think Apprentice on steroids in a day.

I found it all very stressful.

I got home and on sofa with time to reflect suddenly became all tearful about a past non-relationship. To avoid a drip feed
it was the last man I fell in love with and I've had no comparable feelings since.
He was married but duped me initially.
I kept seeing him after I knew when I should have walked away I know - but eventually saw the light - after he kept treating me like an occassional sweet shop.

BUT and this is the big point I haven't spoken to him for 2 years.

Why tonight would I suddenly become all emotional and nostalgic and craving him - when what I really want is a man who actually cares about me and would be supportive of me?

(He wouldn't be supportive in a "you've had a bad interview" moment or even offer a hug. He'd be more likely to say "what's sport is on tonight".)

I think there is something wrong with me that I feel like I am craving (and that's the right word) intensely the touch and affection of a man who I meant nothing to and haven't heard from for years.

I know I have low self esteeem but why would now this re-generate?

I feel so utterly shit- like no one could ever care for me even in a "look after this broken winged animal sense" leave alone a "she lights up my light" sense".

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/09/2017 04:22

Please, you have got to give yourself a break and start being kind to yourself. You have had an incredibly stressful day, and it is very normal for other emotions to rear their ugly head when you're so vulnerable.

You went through a painful relationship and came out on the other side. You are definitely deserving of real love and I believe you will find it. There is NOTHING wrong with you.

Imbroglio · 28/09/2017 04:28

Maybe feeling vulnerable has triggered memories of him because you were vulnerable then. Maybe you just need a little cry. Nothing wrong with that!

When will you know about your promotion?

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