Hi, new to this and a little apprehensive. I've been with my husband since high school and we married around 5 years ago, we have no children and pretty much have separate finances. by all accounts leaving my husband should be easy but it's so difficult. He is not a bad man he is very poor at communicating and we've drifted over the years to the point of no physical contact and the thought now make me feel uneasy. I'm in my 30's and feel life have passed me by, so many experiences I've never had and want to do, he doesn't Want the same and I feel I'm being held back and now I'm resentful. we're not perfect but I'm deeply unhappy and have been for the past few years. I honestly can't say I love him. I care for him a lot and that's why it's difficult. I really want to find out who I am be independent and maybe meet someone I'm madly in love with. It's not something talking our councelling can help with as my mind is clear I just can't vocalise it. I have tried on a few occasions recently but he gets so teary, dramatises things and I feel like such a bad person for it and just keep saying we will try again but I'm making myself Ill with it all. I recently discovered he has been chatting to other women online and I wasn't even bothered I was disappointed. I confronted him told him that's a sign we're not working but he said he's ashamed and it's mainly because he can feel the distance from me. I do know he loves me deeply maybe too much and it's suffocating but I think it is the fear of being alone that frightens him. I know I would be fine and I know he would find happiness. Theres no third party involved on my part we have grown apart I can see that now.
Anyway I'm looking for advice has anyone been through anything similar? How did the conversation start, I know I need to be strong and it will be difficult but happiness comes from within not from trying to make. Loveless marriage work. Any tips would be welcomed I want to be as gentle as I can.