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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH has just walked out.

53 replies

Radley · 07/04/2007 16:47

He knew I wasn't happy with him going to the pub today (4th time out this week), he said he would be in for 3 and fair do's he did.

Kids were wanting to talk to him and all he was interested in was watching the horses to see if any he had put a bet on came in. I told him that the kids were pleased to see him etc and he carried on grumbling so I told him he preferred horseracing. Hence he threw the sky remote (now not working) at the cupboard turned tele off and stormed outside to clean the bbq (i've since discovered he used one of my cream tea towels )

Then he came in stormed upstairs and proceeded to tell dd1 (7.11) if i wanted a bbq i could clean it.

Next thing, he storms downstairs says really loudly 'you doing my fuffin head in this week woman' and walked out, i rang him cos dd1 and dd2 wanted to know where he was and guess where? Yup, he's gone to the friggin pub again.

On the phone he said that he is sick of instigating any contact between us (what does he expect when I now work and he does nothing in the house, takes me for granted etc, doesn't even attempt to arrange for a babysitter to take me out) and that since I found out that my close friend has cancer, I've been having a go at him as though it's his fault.

He has said he will be in for 7pm, but we will have to wait and see, whereas I am sat here now, knowing that he will no doubt be calling me everything under the sun to his mates in the pub and also, someone who he does not like is in the pub and if he says one word to dh, I know what he will do.

TBH I can't help but think he wanted an excuse to go the pub as he begrudged having to come in at 3.

If you've read this, thank you, no-one to rant to, can't phone friends as I have dd1 & dd2 here and I've managed to get away with telling them he has gone to get coals for the bbq

OP posts:
talcyegg · 07/04/2007 17:46

All of us
women only
and children

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 17:47

i think thats what you need Radley, a focus other than DH. I would just plan my days with dc's, get out and about and not expect anything of him. Not ideal i know, but at least if you have no expectations he can't let you down. Meanwhile, we will plot revenge for his latest little episode

talcyegg · 07/04/2007 17:48

Norfolk
you coning too ifonlyhewould?

talcyegg · 07/04/2007 17:48

Coning?

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 17:49

When he is alseep tonight pour a little water just under his willy area than shake him awake and tell him he has wet the bed. All that bloody beer
Then take yourself off to one of the kids beds so that he either has to change the bedding or sleep in his 'wee'

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 17:50

damn a little to far, or i would be there

dd2 has just asked for daddy, i told her that he said he would be in before he bed time, dd1 piped in 'now he has been at the pub for a couple of hours he will have forgotten won't he?'

Says alot doesn't it really.

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 17:50

I'm miles away unfortuantely, in Huddersfield, right up north

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 17:51

Ifonly, that would be funny, if he hadn't done it on a regular basis, he doesn't get up and clean it, he gets up and comes downstairs onto the sofa and attempts to wipe it in the morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 17:52

I'm up t north too just going to get the washing in and shut the garden up

OP posts:
talcyegg · 07/04/2007 17:52

Dr who aaaallllll to myself then
yum

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 17:53

My lovely little dd see's that little of her daddy that she refuses to have anything to do with him at the moment, no kisses, no cuddles, won't let him put her to bed, won't let him do anything. Kids pick up on these things more than we realise. Thats why i do my best to be all happy and smiley even though i feel like crying inside. If you do the acting often enough it does actually pay off, you really do start to feel better

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 17:56

You poor woman Radley. How do you put up with that? Does he ever show any remorse for being a pig?

I might not be with you in person but i'm with you in spirit. Put the kids to bed and open the wine! You deserve it.

As for revenge, have you thought about spitting in his tea? It worked wonders for me

talcyegg · 07/04/2007 17:57

Have to go now,

try have a stress free evening, all.

Good luck radley
Rise above it if you can
and give wee ones a cuddle from me

HotXMum · 07/04/2007 17:57

Sounds like he may have somat on his mind. He needs a bit of time in his cave. I would keep quiet and wait till he has something to say.

No point in getting angry unless of course he does this all the time.

HotXMum · 07/04/2007 18:01

Ah, just read your earlier posting, he does do this all the time.

Do you know something, you maybe getting a better deal than me. My dh just moans all the time and is a great huffer and puffer. It is very negative in front of my ds and defo gets me down. I wish he would pee off up the pub

Cant win can you really.

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:14

I've just been outside to put the kids bikes away etc and notice that 'caveman' has left his keys here.

That should be fun when it gets to about 8pm

OP posts:
Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:20

We are all supposed to be going away in may, i think i might go on my own with the littlies.

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 18:21

Is he like this all the time Radley? Is he generally a good DH/father who is just having a 'blip' or is he usually so selfish?

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:25

He has always had his selfish moments, then again, he can sometimes move heaven and earth iykwim.

Its all come to a head because I'm annoyed at him going out 4 times this week. I was due to meet someone on tues about dd1 & dd2 going to holiday club and when he came to meet me, I could smell the beer on him so i wasn't happy with that.

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 18:30

Well i hope the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff. He owes you and DC's BIG TIME for this latest episode!

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:32

I know that, you know that and my best mate who phoned me as soon as I text her knows that, but he won't see it, within 10 minutes of him coming in tonight, all he will see is the inside of his eyelids.

OP posts:
Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:35

hmmmmmmmmm no sign, no text, no phonecall, and he said he'd be home before 7.

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 18:36

Well if you wait behind the door with a rolling pin he could be seeing stars as well

Original poster
Radley · 07/04/2007 18:40

LOL, now now, don't go putting ideas into my head.

Right now, I'm going to sign off mumsnet, put the kids in the pj's shut the curtains and put doctor who on surround sound whilst drinking hot chocolate.

If he wants to miss out, knackers to him, says i

OP posts:
talcyegg · 07/04/2007 19:53

Hope he has returned....begging for forgiveness

DR who was good wasn't he?