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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I let this friendship go

1 reply

buzzbeebee · 27/09/2017 14:05

I have been really good friends with S since school, even living together at university. Our families are great friends as well.

However in recent years S developed an alcohol problem. In and out of rehab never quite kicking the dependency. Met a bloke, got pregnant and finally was alcohol free. Traumatic birth and no support from partner, arguments between them led to police being called by neighbours and social workers got involved (thankfully I thought at the time).

Turns out social worker is friends with his family and sprouted lots of lies about S and her family and basically bullied them and S got drunk again (not excusing her what so ever. The father of the child also got drunk, he also has drinking issues) social worker met them both drunk and suggested S got to rehab and gave custody to the father. I could go on and on about this social worker but that's a different thread.

S did rehab and is now fighting to try and get her baby back.

S has often seen my life as perfect - it's far from it. However I do have a baby a month younger than hers.
Now getting to my question:

I have went to see my friend once since she got out of rehab and all seemed fine between us. She caught me up with everything going on. However I have not heard from her since.

I don't want to impose myself on her and hinder her recovery if I am a trigger for her. However I don't want her to feel like she has lost all her friends. (She doesn't have any left from our group)

I have tried messaging her but she hasn't seen wats app and I'm not sure if I have most up to date number as it is always changing (he would break her phones in fights).

Do I just leave it and wait for her to come to me? Or do I follow her up again. I did offer to meet her without baby.

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 27/09/2017 14:11

Thats a difficult one, you're a good friend but if she's in a really bad place it might be too much for her.
Send her a message regularly along the lines of 'I miss you and our our friendship, get in touch when you're ready'.

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