What should I do

[Angelstorm]

Earlier this year I found out my husband had cheated on me with a girl from work. My world fell apart for a few months but we talked it through and I decided to give him another chance as I wasn't ready to break my family apart and I still loved him. The girl has left the company and he showed me he deleted and blocked all social media and phone contact with her. However this last week or so i felt deep in my gut something wasn't quite right so i checked his phone while he was in the shower and found some messages of a sexual and flirty nature he had exchanged with another girl he works with who I had known before my husband and I met. I don't think in all honesty he has done anything physical with her but I didn't think he would cheat before either. I don't know what to do. I love him and he tells me everyday he loves me but how can he talk like that with another girl when he knows how much it would hurt me. If it wasn't for the affair I probably would have laughed it off but I know feel so lost and worthless.

What else can you do but accept that it was a mistake to let him get away with it last time?

He's disrespecting you terribly. Hw knows how he made you feel last time, and yet send flirty messages/does god knows what else again regardless.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't stay with him if it were me, even if there was nothing more to it than messages. When you love someone and they give you a second chance, you don't piss all over it

Why on earth would you laugh off sexual and flirtatious messages?

You made a mistake letting him stay. He will continue to do this - this is the sort of man he is and he's not scared of any repercussions.

What should you do? Decide if you want to stay with someone who says he loves you, but whose actions say otherwise.

That must have been a kick in the teeth, OP, sorry.

Sometimes you can't patch things - particularly when one person in the relationship isn't actually committed to changing anything. Does it really matter if this is "only" flirting, especially given the recent history?

You need to ask? Kick the sorry excuse for a man out and initiate a divorce immediately.

Well he's obviously not learnt a thing. I'm sorry. He's no good.

Op, i dont know you and i dont think you are someone i know.

But a male colleague had an affair with someone at our work. He left his wife when he got caught, ow left her husband. My colleague is now back with his wife.

He is a serial flirt. He is still seeing ow and another woman who is based in another office. He is messaging a few women.

His wife, according to him, will always take him back because she is desperate to keep her family together. Its awful.

Do you want to be that wife?

You gave him the green light to cheat again when you forgave him last time. .
Only you can break the chain. .
And it isn't you breaking up the family - his penis has done that. .

You may love him but if he loved you he wouldn't have cheated on you the first time.

I think you need to accept that if you decide to stay with him from this point forward, he will have flirtations, sexting and probably physical relationships outside of the marriage.

From this point forwards everything you choose to do - you do it with full awareness of what he is capable of and what he does.

I couldn't do it, my self esteem would be in tatters.

And staying with him will increase your feelings of worthlessness. So kick him out now, before you can't imagine being able to function properly without him. None of his behaviour is your fault.