Confused and need advice

[Hurtandfrustrated]

Please be gentle as this whole thing is making me feel really raw.

Met someone a few months ago, we live quite far from each other, situation is we can't meet up properly any time soon as problems both ends with that.

Was all lovely in the beginning but recently feel he's losing interest, but when I ask directly he says no. He's not staying in touch as often or as fully as he was. Almost always me initiates contact.

Really like him but don't want to be a fool.

If you haven't met yet, there really isn't anything there, sorry. That is just the way it is.

Also it's really, REALLY important to remember that actions are the things to judge based on. Words mean less than nothing.

Wanting people to be "honest" about their feelings isn't really helpful. The vast majority of people are barely conscious of their own feelings (especially men, because they are taught from very early on not to have any emotions except maybe anger), let alone have the ability to communicate clearly about them to others. Add into that, that people hate hurting each other - and you can't blame chaps (or women for that matter) for not coming out with fairly bold pronouncements like "I am not interested in your romantically" etc.

It's not game playing to cool down on contact. It's just that basic, polite thing of giving people a little space. It's bad manners to constantly initiate contact, it's meant to be fairly reciprocal, try to think of it as a matter of etiquette - don't you think it's a little invasive to constantly contact someone who doesn't ever make contact first? Cool off, hold back, give the man the space he is clearly asking for with his actions (or lack thereof).

If you've not met and you can't meet there's not a great deal of point is there?

You said you'd met someone a few months ago! 'MET' but you haven't. How do you know you've met someone decent? Sorry but maybe you should've said in your OP you hadn't met. I think if you've not met in 2 months since first speaking, what is the point?

Nothing wrong with keeping him as someone to chat too, though. But date other people while you're at it. Otherwise it's just a fantasy relationship (and increasingly conducted largely in your head, it seems).

Not met because of logistical reasons and that's a current not ongoing issue. Mainly current finances.

We have discussed meeting in person - he was first to mention that and still says he wants to.

Definitely get the point about men not being great at expressing themselves emotionally and that is something he struggles with.

Thanks everyone for replying.

Re dating other people BELIEVE me I do not meet many men where I live that are single decent men! Hence being single so long!

Well I asked what was going on and it ended up being not good for me :( gutted really.

Taking a step back is not game playing. Wanting to shake someone you don't know from Adam & find out what's going on seems a bit OTT.
People have busy lives, it sounds to me that you've pushed your own bar higher for your needs.

Have you been on any dating sites?
If not then get yourself on Tinder and see where that takes you.
You've not met this guy yet and he's already cooling off.
He's not 'the one'

Jonsnowsghost sorry you're going through similar. Since I last posted he seemed interested again and behaved like he had when I believed he was interested but now he's gone quiet again.

May not be 'etiquette' or following the correct advice but I've asked him outright if he's still interested or not.

I wasn't actively looking for a relationship so not interested in dating sites and CERTAINLY not tinder which I understand to be more frequented by those mainly looking for just sex.

In fact if we're talking manners I think it's bloody bad manners to just ignore someone - I mean seriously it takes second to respond to a text! And you're not even having to look them in the face or anything.

As I said I'm an older lady I really Cba with game playing, following 'dating rules' shite. If you like someone say so and same if you don't or stop liking them.