Antidepressants.. yes or no?

[Username987]

Hi all. Warning this is a long post ..

A little bit of info of my background as to why I'm asking about antidepressants...

I got with my ex partner when I was 16, he was 23. we were together for nine years and we have a DD together. I decided to leave him about 3 1/2 months ago and during that time we were still living together. He then moved out to his mothers a week ago and I recently got a new place with DD. Moved in over the weekend.
A bit of background detail about him and our relationship is that we were very different and as we got older that become a bit more obvious he was a little bit more boring and I was more outgoing he didn't want any more children didn't want to get married and didn't want to go abroad and these were just little factors that contributed to my decision to end it.

But now I'm in my new house with a nearly 3-year-old and I'm really struggling.
My family are okay with regards to helping but could be better I suppose. I've got one really good friend but the rest are busy with their own lives.
Ex partner is being okay with regards to DD but isn't taking on the responsibility that I have when it comes to here.

I have been talking to another man who was telling me everything I wanted to hear but I find him very hot and cold. another thing to add to the mix, I don't want to get into another relationship but it's somebody to talk to and keep me company on nights when I am by myself. The last few nights I haven't heard from him as much. I have questioned him about it and he said nothing has changed I just need to chill out which I'm sure is right but my mental state is all over the place at the minute.

I feel so lonely especially when DD is in bed I don't know what to do with myself
I'm only 25 and literally feel like I've got nothing to look forward to but at the same time I feel awful because I'm perfectly healthy my daughter is healthy and I should be really happy.

So my main question is are antidepressants any good? I went to the doctors two weeks ago and she prescribed me some but I ended up not taking them due to listening to other people's opinions on them I think she prescribed me Sertraline.

Thank you

I wouldn't take them because you are lonely. Meet up with your friend more, doesn't have to be loads, once a week, either in the day or when DD is with her dad.

I think there are other things you need to address, chiefly learning to be comfortable in your own company. Once you are comfortable being on your own you will make much better choices about relationships. Get rid of this guy, he's not the answer. You have never been alone as an adult, and you really need to learn how. Find stuff to do in the evening. Reading, exercise, cleaning, making something whatever keeps your hands and mind busy.

Talk to the GP again about sertraline. I have used it, it was, for me, like a magic button for my anxiety, but everyone is different, and it sounds to me like your state of mind is a normal reaction to your situation.

I have tried a number of ADs. None of them did anything for me.

A couple cased sexual dysfunction. I cannot see how I could be sex-dys and not be depressed about that alone.

Sounds like you have heard that already, so I won't go on slagging them off.

I think they're OK if you're in crisis and need to get through in the short term, but they are too often prescribed long term with no additional therapy. You need something to occupy you and a wider circle of friends, I don't think ADs can affect loneliness at all.

Do you work OP? Are you getting enough adult contact during the day? If your ex has decent contact with DD, can you use the time she's with him to take up a new hobby, go to the gym or similar?

Yes I work but I'm self-employed and only see people sparse throughout the day these are clients who I don't necessarily tell a lot of my business to.
It is very nice but on the other hand it's also not feeling like myself whatsoever I feel like the lights are on but nobody's home

In this case I would say no. They’re not a quick fix for normal and understandable human emotions (loneliness, grief, loss etc) although they’re often (wrongly imo) prescribed as such.

Work on making positive changes in your life like meeting new people, discovering new interests/hobbies, maybe volunteering? Antidepressants won’t give you a more fulfilling life, that takes more effort than just popping a pill every day. But I’m sure you can do it, good luck!

I'd back up what others have said and that maybe they're not right for your current situation. I'm actually a big believer that anti-depressants are great in the right circumstances but they seem a little drastic for a young mum newly adjusting to living on her own with her child.

I was suddenly single at 23 having married the girl I was with since I was 17 a couple of years earlier. No child so it was easier but looking back now, at 38, I can see how much happier my life has been for not continuing in the wrong relationship.

I'd say to give the situation a little while - it's still very new. If it does come to anti-depressants, don't feel any weakness that you've used them - especially with a child to care for any decision you make to make yourself happier and thus stronger for them is the correct, strong one.

I just kinda feel they won't help right now with forming connections with people, and that's the main source of your sadness. Is there anything that interests you that you can get into more in the evenings, or at least read up on local groups with the same interest etc?

Do your family ever take your little one for a night so you can get some time off?