Have I any chance of leaving my husband

[Borris]

I'm feeling so trapped

Several years ago I managed to leave my EA husband with our dc. He persuaded me he'd changed, had counselling etc and I moved back (I know!!)

Things were good for a while. He got a new job several hours away from home.

We all moved there to stay together as a family.

6 months later he got made redundant.

That was 18 months ago. The EA has been creeping back in. It's in a different, more subtle way. Less name calling and rudeness. But I'm tiptoeing round again and he sulks and ignores me if I upset him.

Recently a friend at our church took me to one side and asked if he always spoke to me how she witnessed and said that no one should speak to me like that. That's opened my eyes. I feel sick and realise that he is controlling me again.

I want to move back home with the dc. I had friends there, family, a good job, a nice church.

But he's SAHD as out of work. The dc are settled in school here. He's making no effort to find work

If I moved back I could go back to my old job 3 d a week.

But he'd never let me move dc. And as he is SAHD wouldn't he get to stop me moving with them.

I feel such a fool. I could be happy and settled if I'd not gone back

I don't see a way out other than waiting till dc leave home but that's years away.

You're not rambling at all, that was very coherent! I get what you mean about the tiny things - except he obviously said something significant at church if your friend had a word with you about it.

You sound like you have something of a plan, & like you have a strength there. Keep going.

Thanks to everyone taking the time to reply. I don't feel strong. But it's nice people think I am.

I'm going to speak to women's aid and try to get to a solicitor. I know from last time I need to move slowly and gradually build up to it but at least I can feel like I've got some control back.

I will keep noting things down and talking to my friend - I'm certain she won't say anything to my husband. She seems quite clued up on abusive behaviour.

And I will try to move us all back home. He has a better chance of getting a job bcck home anyway. Although I heard him telling someone recently that he was retired now ...... age 40-something

I'm going to speak to women's aid and try to get to a solicitor.

Good decision op. [whenever you feel ready.]

What is FW?