How do I tell my 3 year old?

[nowwheredidmyunicorngo]

I have recently separated from my DH. He is a problem drinker. A reconciliation a year or more down the line isn't out of the question. I don't think I ever want to live with him ( or any partner) again though. So I'm reading the Living Together apart threads with interest.

Our DD is used to Daddy working away and we are managing to be amicable so far. She still sees him regularly. She seems happpy in herself.

As yet, she hasn't asked any questions, probably because she is used to the pattern of Daddy being away and back and away again.

At some point, however, I think she might ask why Daddy doesn't sleep here, or something like that.

Any ideas for age apropriate explanations?

If she asks: "Daddy has another house that's his, darling. That's where he sleeps."

Don't over explain. Kids that age, when they ask questions they mean literally, "where does Daddy sleep?", not, "Mummy please explain to me the extremely detailed and painful reasons for why my father who I love and miss does not share a house with me anymore, is it because he doesn't love me anymore or is he perhaps an alcoholic".

Us adults tend to ask loaded questions. Small children don't even know that loaded questions exist. Keep it brief and simple, and follow her lead.

Keep it simple yes. My kid who is 8 asked me last year "mummy I wish we had a daddy, you could take me to school every day" I said "darling mummy would still do the same job".

When she was 3 she asked "why don't we see daddy anymore" I said "because some people are not very good at being kind to other people"

Don't stress about it, it will become her normal real quick just be prepared for her sometimes to question her normal in comparison with what she observes around her as she gets older. Be truthful but simple.

I am going to follow this thread op if you don't mind as my ex fiancé split in June and our 5 yr old dd hasn't been told yet.

She thinks he is house sitting and so far hasn't asked any questions . However we had booked a wedding which she is looking forward to. We wanted to get the changes in place before we told her and now they are and seem to be working well .

But need advice on what to say and what not to say when she asks when daddy is moving back in and about the wedding.

Me and ex get on amazingly well, he is brilliant and a better dad since we split ( he was a good dad before) but spends much more quality time with her. Also I'm a better mum too since we split , I look forward to seeing her and have quality time together too . It will all work out ok I'm sure but any advice would be great x

Yep, keep it simple.
Daddy lives in a different house now was enough for my dd but she didn't really seem to care as we moved at the same time pretty much.

Don't bring your feelings into it unless she brings up hers first. Tell her that you both love her a lot.

Agree with all the posters - keep it simple and high level.

When DS asks about why XDP and I split (XDP is a lovely man and now newly married to a lovely woman) and why we weren't married I simply say, "Daddy and I are very good friends and we love you more than anything - and isn't "new wife" lovely?"

And then I talk to DS about all the positive things in life and we usually end up laughing. This won't work forever, but when they're young...