Any mental health nurses that have had a career change/dislike their job? Please help?

[cupcakesmakeyouhappy]

I'm a mature student who decided after a divorce would go back to school and prove I was more than what I was made to feel. I chose nursing because I consider myself to have all the values a nurse shoud have. I chose mental health as I have experienced it from a young age (family).
I'm 18 months in and really do not enjoy the academic side and not enjoyed any placements. I have not found an area I enjoy. It actual makes my mental health worse and has bought back so many bad memories. I'm disappointed in myself as it's what I chose but expected different. So not only am i trying to meet deadlines, work and be a single mum the end career prospects don't really keep me motivated. Also all I hear is the pressures of nursing now. Too much is expected. People are leaving the profession.
I have nothing to fall back on as I was a stay at home mum. I have a mortgae to pay and dcs. It's like I have no choice. I would look a failure if I gave up now. I'd be letting my dc's down. It's making me so so unhappy. I have been to the doctor recently and been prescribed anti depressants.
I'm sorry to sound so negative but I have no one to talk to and so much responsibility. It all feels like too much.

I’m not a mental health nurse, but I am a RGN. My own mental health can be problematic, and I no longer work as a nurse. I began to develop problems with severe recurrent depression in my 30s; I also used to work with people with long term medical conditions, and I found that their low moods aggravated my own. I eventually decided that exposure to patients with depression created problems for me, as I almost ‘absorbed’ their low mood; I could not help these people any more without harm to myself. Because I’d become seriously unwell over some years, I was able to take medical retirement (very difficult to obtain for MH problems, I was told).
I no longer work in nursing, and my own MH is much better.
You have to do what’s right for you. Nursing is emotionally gruelling, and it sounds like your work experiences are aggravating your own symptoms. If you feel that you are able to complete your course, you will find that employers value the skills that nurses develop.
Only you really know if you are able to do this without severely damaging your own health, however.

What placements have you done so far?
I'm in a similar field (mental health profession) and it's true, there is a LOT of burn out. You will be taking on all of your patient's problems, plus when people find out your profession they will dump all their problems on you (expecting free advice/support whenever they need it, I'm often treated like a 24 hour 'hotline'), plus your/children's/partner's/family's problems on top of that to deal with. Most of my work days/weeks/years are very negative and you start to see the world/people in a very negative light in general because that is all you'll see/hear...and it does have an effect on you. It sounds depressing just typing this but I do enjoy my work and I went to school for a number of years to get my degrees and do what I do, and I chose this profession for a reason. At the end of the day, I enjoy helping people... BUT you MUST remember, you can't 'save' everyone. (Especially if you're coming into this profession due to your own experiences.) That's something a lot of 'newbies' come into the field expecting and it's a huge let down/disappointment to them when reality sinks in, they can't solve the world's problems and they end up leaving the field all together.
You can only do the best you can do and sometimes people just don't want to be 'saved'. Secondly, set firm boundaries (with work mates, with friends, with family, with patients) It's essential! You can only take on so many problems before they start to become your own and you need to be able to 'switch off' when it's time to go home.
You should have a mentor at school. Can you talk about your options with them?

Not a mental health nurse but an RGN. I take it you have 18 months left of your study?

If you can manage the rest of your training I would advise you do, because you have a huge amount of options going forward with a nursing qualification.

I worked in critical care for years and due to circumstances of moving abroad I now work in recruitment of nurses to the NHS form EU and India. I am looking in the next few months to train as an aesthetic nurse. There are options in medical sales, recruitment, medio legal nursing, assessment for fitness to work, teaching, etc. What I am trying to say is if you can stick it out, then your options are wide and you don't need to go into mental health per se.

Being a nursing student is tough, its a lot of work, can you speak to one of your supervisors or tutors and explain how you are feeling?

And how recently did you start antid's? Maybe give them a while and see if you start to feel better.

CockacidalManiac - thanks for your reply. This is my concern. I feel it's having an impact now and will continue to have. It's bringing back memories and making me have these unwanted thoughts. I used to be calm and laid back. I'm now anxious and my mind is in overdrive all of the time. Im glad your my is better after a career change. I wish i had that opportunity.
Hooray - thanks for your reply. I have had acute ward, community o/a and adults, dementia, drug and alcohol. Also worked as a bank on other wards. I learnt that you can't save everyone quite early on. Actually I learnt you can't really save anyone. You can make a difference, slightly. Some people can't change, some don't want to and some don't know how. It's sad out there. I feel some of their pain. I also feel frustrated with the thanklessness of the patients/job/colleagues. I have to say I have met some lovely people along the way. Don't want to sound negative. I feel so negative writing this. Really appreciate the replies.

Pudding- thanks for your reply. I keep fighting with myself to see it through as it's 18 months. I have so many deadlines coming up. I feel I am putting myself through this stress for nothing. Thankyou so much for trying to inspire me. I have been on them for 6 weeks now.

Hooray - thanks for your reply. I have had acute ward, community o/a and adults, dementia, drug and alcohol. Also worked as a bank on other wards. Some schools are hiring nurses with mental health background, so something you might consider if you enjoy working with children and it would be a different environment to the above?
I learnt that you can't save everyone quite early on. Actually I learnt you can't really save anyone. You can make a difference, slightly. Some people can't change, some don't want to and some don't know how. It's sad out there. This is all very true unfortunately, but it's good you've realised this now and can set your expectations accordingly.
I feel some of their pain. Remember you must disconnect and be able to 'turn off'.
I also feel frustrated with the thanklessness of the patients/job/colleagues. This will NEVER change unfortunately.
I have to say I have met some lovely people along the way. Don't want to sound negative. I feel so negative writing this. Don't feel negative. You need to be able to discuss openly and realistically in order to make a knowledgeable choice going forward.
I would suggest speaking with your mentor about what your options are. It depends on your course, but graduating with a nursing degree/skills/qualification will open a lot of doors if you can hang on until the end of your program (18 months?). You don't have to stay in mental health, and please don't feel a 'failure' or something if you decide to change course. It's not for everyone and it's better to look at your options now whilst you're doing placements so you can try things without commitment!

I was an RMN, then taught care in FE for a few years. I stopped for health reasons and, when recovered, couldn't face going back.

I'm now a TA in a secondary school. The money is lousy, the status is low but I really, really enjoy it. The skills I developed during my nursing days are really useful in my job. I don't panic, I can listen well and I can manage conflict. I know how to distract and/or use humour and I'm pretty good at spotting social, physical and emotional issues cropping up in children and reporting to the teaching team. I have a degree so I can support the teaching in many subjects. I think I'm pretty good value for money!

Luckily, I could afford to give up my nursing/lecturing wage and maybe it's not so easy for you, but the skills and qualities you have will make you naturally good at other jobs involving vulnerable people.

Hooray - thankyou so much for your wise words :) it's so lovely to able to talk about this. I'm taking g on board everything you have said and advised. It's also nice to hear that I shouldn't feel a failure if I decide not to continue. Thanks again, really appreciate it.
Dotdotdot - Thanks for your reply. I'm glad you are happy in your new job. This is something I would love to do. I wish now I chose the route of working in childcare. Little people are the best people to work with :) I can't just give it up as I have nothing g to fall back on. If I could train within childcare I would but I do t have that opportunity. If I was you get or didn't have a mortgage maybe.

Give yourself a bit more time, 6 weeks on antid's is not a long time, you probably haven't felt the full benefits yet, are you due to go back and discuss with your GP?

Are you taking anything for anxiety?

There should be someone at the Uni you can talk to about this so you can get some help, maybe with the academic side of things, but also in terms of mentorship. Having mentored students myself, the biggest thing is to get help when you need it, not when you can't cope and become a failing student.

Be kind to yourself, you have done great to get this far.

Thanks pudding :) I have spoken to my tutor and a other lecturer and the councillor and all been supportive and offering extensions if I want them. I tried to chat about not enjoying it but it's difficult to explain why after they're the people that agreed on giving me a placement. It's it even about the workload, although that's stressful. It's the not enjoying it part. The effect it's having on my own mh. The worry it will get worse.
Thankyou for all your advice and kind words.

You might find one placement it just clicks, just keep talking if you are struggling, could you defer for a year maybe if it gets too much?

There is no shame in the end if you don't finish your course, there are new posts being developed now called nursing associates or some trusts have clinical support workers (more than a HCA post). Maybe that might be better for you? Less study, more hands on? The pressure won't be the same as a trained nurse role but you still get to work in the field, not sure if that could be something you might consider?

Are you on placement now? You know what, having struggles yourself, insight, will probably make you into an excellent nurse in the end (as I am sure you are an excellent student).

I looked into taking time out but my bursary stops and would need to work to pay the mortgage. I feel that I wouldn't go back and the thought of going back to a new cohort. I would just be postponing what I will have to go through anyway.
I haven't heard of the new posts. I have worked as a hca, its not for me. I would consider in work training in something other than mh.
Due to go on placement in a few weeks onto an acute ward.
Thankyou pudding, that's kind of you to say so :)

Hi cupcakes. I'm a mature mental health nursing student too, just started my final year. Like you I'm not enjoying the academic side, though I'm doing ok and I haven't had a placement that I've really enjoyed. I constantly feel overwhelmed and stressed with juggling the amount of uni work, placements and family (3 young DC). It causes frequent arguments between me and DP who says I put uni first . I feel I am stretched very thin and I frequently question whether I have done the right thing with this career change, particularly as I have no idea yet what area I want to work in. BUT despite all the stress, anxiety and self doubt (and incredible weight gain!), the work does somehow all get done, my kids are happy and my DP understands its not forever. I know it will all be worth it in the end. I already know I will not be working in acute for long, maybe a year or so for experience, but I also know this degree will open so many doors for me and that is what keeps me pushing me on.

I understand it's hard to be positive at times but you've come so far. Time really does fly and this will all soon be a distant memory. Take full advantage of your university's support/wellbeing services to help get you through. Even if you don't end up as a RMN, you will have so many other options. You can build a great future for you and your DC. Dust yourself down girl. You totally got this!

Hi cupcake,

Another nursing student here

((((((((((( big massive hug)))))))))..

Congratulations on getting this far in your training, it's fucking hard work and nobody outside the student nursing community understands. Excuse my swearing.

How you're feeling is completely normal by the way. Do you have anybody in real life who is also doing your degree that you can talk to? The best advice I was given and will give to all student nurses - surround yourself with other student nurses so you can cry, rant and laugh together. I've surrounded myself with other mature students (all 40+) and funnily enough we had a good old WTAF moaning session yesterday. We're all pursuing a career change, we've all done a degree before, we all enjoyed our first time at University, but this second visit to do the nursing degree is no fun at all.

I'm an adult student nurse and I'm nodding and agreeing with advice from thedogsknees and hooraysunshine when I qualify I see myself working maximum two years in acute, possibly 1-2 years in primary care just to get the work experience on my CV and then I'll be off. The nursing degree will open up other opportunities to other careers. There definitely is a light shining brightly at the end of the student nursing tunnel.

Oh yeah and I'm soooooo negative now as well, since starting this degree I believe I've undergone personality surgery. I've switched from being a happy, chilled positive nurse buttercup and becoming a grumpy miserable old cow. I'm looking forward to seeing a return of my former self when I graduate

There are a few support groups on facebook for student nurses that I suggest you seek out.

I echo the sentiments of thedogsknees, you're building a new future for you and your DC, dig deep and keep going you've got this.

TheDogsKnees - wow thankyou :) you don't know how much of a relief it was reading yours and NurseButtercups messages this morning. I have felt completely alone. I'm sorry you are feeling this way too. Well done for pushing through. Everything you said, I feel too. It feels more normal now you have mentioned you feel the same. It's all bloody hard work. I honestly feel like I'm struggling with my my over it 😔 thankyou so much for the support 😊
NurseButtercup - wow thankyou :) and the ((hug)) really needed this, this morning. I haven't left the house in 2 days. Just to do the school run. I'm so down about it. And yes, I agree nobody understands, apart from us students. Like you, Im a different person. Its like someone has taken my sparkle. Im never happy. How horrible is that. I have spoken to a counsellor. We have a little group of mature students and they all seem to think it's tough but all seem happy/excited for placement and seem to enjoy uni. Thankyou so much for your support.
A little bit of advice is needed....
I sent my c.v off to a nursery and within an hour phoned and would like to interview me Friday. Its someonething i thought about before uni but couldn't work/study at the time. Then uni called and with a bursary and the uphill battle to get in, I took it.
It's mon-fri and get paid to gain the qualification.
I'm a single parent and struggle for childcare. Even if I qualified, I will need even more childcare.
It just seems like a less stressful option. Maybe a better option in the long term?
I'm so confused. I feel completely alone.
What do you think?

Have you thought about changing your branch? I'm a paeds nurse and enjoy it. Or training to be a play specialist?

Sooooo - I can't change now it's too late. I can't afford to retrain in something else. The nhs funding and bursary have made it possible for me to come this far.

How old are your DC cupcakes? This would probably be my main consideration in deciding. I started my degree as a single mum and I deliberately waited until my DC had started school because of the childcare issue. I met my current DP 2 weeks before I started uni and ended up with a lovely surprise midway through my first year! So I took a year out and now have a toddler thrown into the mix! However, I would never have started my degree if I'd have known because I know that nursing hours are not compatible with very young children. Fate had other ideas though and here I am. However, I have no idea how we'll manage once I qualify as my DP works shifts too. So I totally understand what you're saying. For me I think I would consider the ages of the DC and how long they're going to need childcare for, but also is the short term pain worth the long term gain? Which qualification will set you up better for the future but more importantly, which role do you think will make you happier?

TheDogsKnees hi :) thanks for getti g back to me, appreciated. Firstly, I want to say, well done you :) My youngest is almost 10 but I know what's like to study with small children as she was 3 (not at school) when I started a foundation degree. You are doing amazing!
My dc's are 9 (almost 10) and 12 so not so little and not so demanding but still need childcare as some days I have to leave the house at 6 and some days home at 8pm. I have done some 9-5 placements but youngest dd goes to after school club. I suppose childcare for another 6-8 years, whilst at school. I rely solely on my mum (who has recently become single and wants to live her single life, which is absolutely fine and another story but also a concern) and that is proving quite difficult now, which isn't as much as when I qualify. I will need her alot more. I don't think the money side of it would be excellent but nursing isn't that great. Short term pain for long term gain is what has kept me going but not so much anymore. Not sure which would set me up better. Either one I could progress, maybe.
I envy your enthusiasm and drive TheDogsKnees. Its so good to talk about it, its hard being a single mum sometimes.

Hello,

You're very welcome, I've always got a hug for a fellow student nurse. Nobody can fully articulate how tough this degree is. I also find that people aren't honest either, especially when they're struggling.

I haven't got the answers but, I've got a few questions that might help your thinking.

Both of your kids will be in secondary school soon, so why do you need childcare for another 6/8 years? Your mum is your mum - beg, plead and beg some more for her to help you with childcare.

If you take that job, do you think you'll be happy and fulfilled working in a nursery? Do you see yourself doing this when your kids no longer require childcare?

If you walk away will you have any regrets?
If you don't become a nurse and get bored/lose interest in the nursery role, what else are you going to do? Have you asked about transferring to child branch or have you decided it's too late? You might lose the bursary by changing branch, but the student loan repayments are negligible. I've still got mine from my first degree when I graduated in 2005

Try and go back and remind yourself of the reasons you pursued the nursing degree. What did you envision your life would be like after qualifying?

Give yourself a few hours to make yourself a life plan - keep it simple. This is a snapshot of mine:

I want a career that isn't just about chasing £££ to make profit, I want a career that will fulfill my desire to travel and potentially work abroad/emigrate. I want a career that is mentally stimulating and includes progression/job security/ opportunity for further study until I retire.

• as a qualified nurse I will always find work in any part of the UK. And overseas if I do the conversion course.

• the nursing degree will be a stepping stone to other careers: teaching, research, occupational health, senior health related roles in public sector.

• I will die happy knowing that I was involved in an activity that put something back into my community.

"We have a little group of mature students and they all seem to think it's tough but all seem happy/excited for placement and seem to enjoy uni." - I'm going to call BS on this and say they're not being honest. Everybody in my group and that's over 100+ of Child, Adult, LD nurses are tired, ground down and a bit pissed off.

The 2nd year is the hardest year. All the lecturers, nurses on placement and mentors are prepped to provide a little bit of extra support for 2nd year students.

I think a lot of your problem is the isolation you're feeling. Come and join the nursing groups on facebook and post your questions. There's always somebody awake that will reply and give honest answers and solutions.

There are loads of student nurses juggling childcare and something always works out. I recently read about a student who has 5 kids, separated from her partner midway through the course and she works weekends at the hospital and she's determined to become a nurse. She is my hero

The Facebook group is called student nurses and beyond.

I don't think it's so much enthusiasm as stubbornness with me! The only reason I've got this far is because of the help and support of my DP, my parents and even my ex (my older DC's dad). It must be incredibly hard for you if you only have your mum for support. And you're right, when you qualify, you will still need that support and probably more so. Neither option is going to pay well unless you progress through the ranks. I know i need to do this if i want a comfortable-ish life! Only you can make the decision about whether to carry on or change direction, I know it will be incredibly tough whatever you decide but I'm a firm believer of what is meant for you won't pass you by

PS. I also second what Nurse Buttercup just said. I still think you can do this!

Off to join that fb group...

NurseButtercup - thanks for your time. It means alot :)
I have spoken to my mum this afternoon and she has said if it's what I want (nursing) she will accommodate, somehow for me to continue.
I need childcare for the next 6 years because, although my dc's will be at secondary school, nursing shifts are long. Early starts and late finishes. Weekend and night shifts. My dc's can't be left alone for hours. Obviously when they leave school, things will be different.
I do feel isolated most of the time. You're probably right. I have zero social life and will be single forever.
You have a great life plan :) that's a good idea. I have no wish to chase the money. I just want me and my dc's to be comfortable. You would not believe the obsticles I have faced over the years. I crave financial stability. I went into nursing because I believe I have the ability to make a difference. Every day is different. I just feel like I have lost me also g the way. Another reason, like yourself, the ability to work anywhere. To be able to sell and remortgae alone in a different town.
I'm not on facebook but might reactivate just to join the group. Its really helped chatting about it :)
TheDogsKnees thanks for your time, it means alot :)
You are lucky to have the support. You really are doing a great job juggling.
I'm glad you have found the facebook group too, for extra support.
Both of you have been really really helpful and kind. Everyone here has. I really appreciate your time. I can't explain how good it feels to not feel alone right now.
I wish you both good luck. You both sound like you are going to make amazing nurses :) for you all!

As a RMN I'm really sorry to find you are not enjoying your training. To be honest neither did I. But now I have a highly specialised job (I'm a prison detox nurse) and my scope of practice has widened in many ways I didn't think possible. I now do compression bandaging for leg ulcers, take bloods, suture, attend physical emergencies, and have really meaningful conversations with prisoners about their mental health and using habits whilst working for an IDTS service that is proven to reduce opiate related deaths in the first 28 days post release by 85%. I've been qualified for 13 months, I'm a charge nurse, I give lectures at local universities and hospitals to other health professionals on NPS. The world really is your oyster. However if nursing is not for you, then that's understandable too. I'd advise finishing your degree as it will open up other pathways for you, even if you don't use it x