AIBU to think there's something wrong with me?

[SmashHitWonder]

I'm 44. I've never had a long-term partner / been married / lived with anyone. No kids. No relationship with my parents.

I'm sick and tired of being alone. I'm sick of having no-one to hold at night. To say hello to when I come home. To go away with. Make memories with. Make plans with.

I'm sick of not having a family. I've never had someone around who I've been a priority for. Ever.

I feel there's something very wrong with me. I must be really ugly or have a repellent personality - or why would I have NEVER been with anyone for more than a few months?

I've tried online dating and evening classes and meet ups and all of that - and nothing works.

I know this sounds so negative. Thanks to anyone who read this far! I'm just really lonely and fed up and starting to hate myself. Please help.

I very much doubt you are super ugly. All people deserve love. But the age old saying is true - you have to love yourself fist!

Do you find social situations challenging? for example, i get anxiety around really large groups of people and can't relax. So I do things with smaller groups.

Is there a reason you've not had relationships?

Didn't want to read and run. It sounds like you're in a tough place right now. I think if you are looking for love/relationship/someone, it can sometimes send off the wrong vibes, all your energy goes in that direction. I've found it's best to really enjoy my life when i'm single, revel in the utter selfishness of not having to compromise, you get to choose what you do/where you go etc. You may be surprised what happens when you are so busy having fun by yourself, people are often attracted to people who love spending time doing their own thing.

Do you have friends and family to make memories with and enjoy spending your time with? Have you got another focus other than being in a relationship?

It's hard and I don't really have any solid advice I'm sorry. What do you enjoy doing do you stick them out the evening classes etc. I'm really impatient myself so I probably wouldn't if I wasn't getting the most out of them!