Moving forward following being cheated on while pregnant

[healingslowly44]

I'm a single mother to a 4 month old, I didn't have the greatest pregnancy, my partner cheated on me with a married ex that he had reconnected with after years apart. I only found out when he finally confessed when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy. It's taken me quite a long time to process what has happened; the cheating, facing the remainder of the pregnancy on my own, going through labour without my partner and adapting to motherhood. I still find it difficult to let go and forget what my ex has done. I still think back to how he made me feel while I was pregnant, how alone I felt and how I never fully had his support. I have to see him still when he meets our child and this also brings back a lot of emotions for me. We've had a couple of heart to heart conversations and I've tried to explain what he put me through and how its impacted on me, but I don't think he truly gets it. Sometimes he gets emotional and genuinely seem remorseful and does seem to regret what he's done, but other times he can be quite arrogant over his behaviour. I'm still left asking myself why he did it, what was wrong with me, why he didn't think more of me and our relationship and why he did not want to be part of our family life. Sometimes I still have questions to ask him over what he did but I'm starting to think what's the point, it's not going to make much difference. Part of the insecurity is also because he moved in with this woman shortly after confessing and it has left me feeling not good enough. Why is this taking me so long to get over this? I know I'm not the first woman to go though this and I won't sadly be the last but can anyone provide me with some encouragement. As you can tell my confidence has taken a bit of a nose dive and I desperately want to get back on track and show him I didn't need him. Are things going to get better? Any advice would be greatly appreciated

There is nothing wrong with you, you're good enough, he's the one that isn't good enough daily mantra of mine at the moment

There are many reason people cheat, because they can, because they can justify their actions to themselves, lack guilt/empathy, feeling that they aren't getting enough attention, or just plan old theyre complete tossers

There is never a justification for cheating, if you're not happy then leave.

The fact he flips from being remorseful to arrogant, suggests that deep down he doesn't care.

I honestly wouldn't bother asking questions or for an explanation. I know it's so hard. Devote your time to your DC (& yourself). It will get better.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is, however, something fundamentally wrong with him. He sounds selfish, immature and one of those people who need excitement and drama all the time.

Your revenge will be knowing that nothing in life will ever be enough for him, him and his married woman will never have unquestioning trust between them and you'll move on, get over him and have a lovely home with your beautiful child 💐

Re: why he cheated.... I think mine was just a tosser! Sometimes he'll actually cry in front of me.
Thank you for your kind words, never posted in a forum before but your response has really helped cheer me up! Thank god for the internet :-)

Thank you both for your kind words. It's helped to make me feel more positive about the situation.

He is a massive tosser. And although I suspect that the months ahead will not be easy, there will always be people on here who have been where you are and who are able to offer support and advice. Keep your head up high, deep breath and carry on. In the years to come, you'll see him for the snivelling little coward he really is and realise what a lucky escape you've had.

Ooh, and I meant to say about him sometimes feeling emotional and at other times, being arrogant. That would be his guilt surfacing. He knows he's done an utterly shit thing, but then starts to feel annoyed at you for making him think about what an arsehole he is, so gets all arrogant about it.

Sn0tnose- you're so right. Along with the crying, sometimes he'll even swear at me when I pull him up on his behaviour and say he's heard this all before etc. Hadn't thought that his nastiness was a defense to me attacking him. Thanks! :-)