How to leave when you're still in love

[gingernutsalways]

How do you find the strength to leave when you still love your partner but can't get over the bad times. I don't want to go but I know I deserve better and I feel like an idiot. No cheating, no abuse just really fucking rough times where I felt like I was the only one fighting for the relationship. He's adamant he loves me but his actions do not line up with his words. Even now he can only put his own feelings first, there is no emotion.

We've got a baby who loves his daddy, how do I leave when I know that means breaking his family up.

Life is so fucking hard

Have you tried counseling? I'm sorry you're going through this.

"There's no emotion" . What do you mean by that? Do you feel there's no emotional connetion and consistency? That's really hard to live with. Would he accept councelling?

Is it definitely dead in the water? Could you go to therapy? If you both still love each other and there's no abuse or infidelity, there's something to work from?

Know that emotions are fucking stupid fuckers sometimes like daft toddlers. Be the grown up. Do what you know is right, your inner toddler will get over it.

I think when you've had a long term relationship with someone and especially when you have kids, there is forever more going to be some loving connection between you, even if you don't want there to be.

But the fundamental distinction for feeling happy in staying with that person is 'do I just have some love for that person as an intimate friend and father/mother of my child?' or 'am I in love with that person anymore?'