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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband going out how often is fair

2 replies

Londonmamabychance · 22/09/2017 19:36

Okay, just trying to understand what people think is a reasonable way for husbands to behave. Know there is a wide range fin what's considered acceptable in terms of going out, it just trying to see if I'm being a control maniac bitch, or if my husband is pushing it.

We have two kids, one almost 3 and one 9 months. Before the baby was born my husband would honour for beers almost every Friday night and if stay home with our first child. I wasn't often cross about it but let it pass as A) he works in an industry where networking and socialising is key to getting jobs and v much part of the culture B) I don't mind being home with the kids SO much, I often enjoy quiet evenings, but when it got too often I got enough of it.

Our baby had colic for the first three months and we had an absolute nightmare, I got depressed and had to go and stay with my parents for 1 month, now he's better but still a rubbish sleeper, so I'm still v tired all the time and struggling a bit to make everything run around, especially as we have no family in this country. In the beginning DH hardly went out, but since the baby is better (last two months) he has started wanting to go out almost every Friday. Not till crazy late, comes home like 10.30, but stilL it leaves me to do dinner and bedtime alone. After a long day alone with the kids. So he went out last Friday, I said okay but come home 9.30 pls, he said okay but called at 9 and asked if he could come home at 10.30 as it was someone's birthday. I said okay and he came home at 11. We had a row - not so much because he was late but because of an unrelated issue. And then today he texts me and says do you mind if I go for one pint this night and come home at 9. I got super cross and told him no. I feel so sad and tired of telling him what to do. I don't want to be the strict controlling wife, but am so tired being stuck at home alone with the kids. I never go out and he's never alone with the kids. I can't leave baby with him as he's fully breastfed and v clingy as screams head off if I'm not there And just can't beat thought of food that to the baby. Maybe onve baby starts in nursery and becomes more independent I can go out a bit more, but as the situation is now I can't. Any thoughts and sharing own experiences much appreciated

OP posts:
Whoknows11 · 22/09/2017 19:41

Didn't want to read and run! That sounds tough and you need to tell your husband how you feel and the fact you need him to act on it! E.g. Encourage you to have some time for yourself x

40andFat · 22/09/2017 19:46

I think that there's not much you can do at the minute about the going out at night time as your baby is BF. What about a compromise so once every 2 weeks he can go out till a reasonable time. But then over the weekend if you express he gives you either a morning or afternoon to yourself. Or just a lie in whatever it is you want. Everybody deserves a bit of their own time you just need to shout up about what yours is. Smile

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