I don't know what to do about my relationship right now. I don't know if it's worth saving and if I need to adjust my expectations or if it's his behaviour. Sometimes I feel like shitty relationships become the norm and I don't know whether that's what's happening here.
I have been with my other half for 15 years, we have 3 children together. He owns his own business and works bloody hard on a physical job which includes doing all his own admin and managing staff.
I work 26 hours a week and do all the housework, running of the house, taking the kids everywhere and everything else.
Our relationship hasn't been without its troubles, he's had 2 affairs and we had a big separation 4 years ago but obviously sorted it out.
I don't know if the issues we had ever got resolved though and there's a lot of underlying resentment and grudges on both sides.
He says I'm unemotional and show him no affection. He's right, I am like that but I didn't use to be. I'm not sure whether my lack of affection is down to me, him, or the fact we still have underlying issues that we haven't the time or energy to address.
Her can get very stressed and angry. We had an argument this evening over a very small issue about my daughter's reading book and my son's timetable. It really wasn't even a big issue. But it built up to him really yelling at me and he called me a "fucking cunt" in front of the children.
I haven't spoken to him since and he's sulking upstairs. He said that I was speaking to him with an attitude. He's right, I was but I was mimicking his tone and attitude (not very mature, I know). He has a tendency to shout at people, as if his opinion is all that matters and when people shout back, he doesn't like it.
His business takes a lot out of him and he works too much. It's not helping his stress levels but he won't cut back and I do not have the time to regularly help him with admin although I do bits now and again if I have some free time.
We have no quality family time, don't take holidays which last longer than 4 days due to his business and he really has no involvement in family life. I think that's where the argument came from this evening as he stated he was just trying to involve himself and give his opinion but wouldn't let me explain the original issue before he jumped to completely the wrong point and started shouting at me.
I'm so exhausted from it all.
Would love some perspective.... I feel like there's a lot more I can add but 15 years is a long time and I don't even know what's relevant anymore.