When he cheats on you, he will cheat on you

[EddyF]

Do you believe this statement to be somewhat the truth? I have seen this statement all throughout this week in relation to Kevin Hart's cheating on his new wife, who cheated with Kevin whilst Kevin was married to his first wife.

Just a month ago, the new wife posted on instagram berating the ex wife being a victim and that her marriage to Kevin was over when she entered the picture. She stated this after posting a 'happy 8th year anniversary' post. People obviously pulled her up as Kevin has only been divorced for 6 years, and his youngest child with his ex wife is around 6 years old.

I am unsure regarding this statement as my ex cheated on me horrendously but he seems to have settled down with his affair person (she's more than welcome to his narcissistic ways) for years now. I am completely over it as it happened so many years ago but that statement made me think if there is some truth in it.

Lol I can't sleep so just typing away.

No I don't think this is necessarily true. I cheated on my ex very briefly with my now dp of 23 years. I've never cheated on him and don't believe he's cheated on me.

I know someone who left his first wife for his lover then after marriage and two kids with her he did exactly the same thing 10 years later.

Some can change some can't.

I know a few cheats and most are regular cheaters

I don't think it's necessarily true. I know couples who got together after cheating, and they are extremely happy and very well suited.
I think it would suit in many ways if it did happen, because if you'd been cheated on you would feel somewhat vindicated... But, in reality, it won't always happen.

I think it depends on why they were cheating. Some people cheat because their marriage isn't working in really big ways and they are trying to hold it together but can't. Some people cheat because its exciting and an ego boast. Some learn and grow, some don't.

It's such an unhealthy way to start a relationship though -- all lies and BS and fantasy. I really wouldn't want to be with a man who was willing to cheat to be with me. I'd find him icky.

I think that women who are cheating and end up with the man are more likely to end up with a controlling abuser because he starts right off with something to humiliate her with, and everything he does to control her / monitor her will sound reasonable. After all, she's a cheat.

I don't buy when ex-cheaters are happy in their new relationships. After all, this is a group that is good at lying and living a fake life. Who the hell knows what they are feeling? It could all be an act. May be they are happy, may be not. No one really knows.

*Charles & Camilla

I don't think either of them have cheated on each other.*

So no,....

I'm fascinated to know why you think you know what they have and haven't done - are you their butler or something ?

Who the hell knows what they are feeling? It could all be an act. May be they are happy, may be not. No one really knows.

But that's true for all human beings. We can never know what goes on in anyone's head for sure.

@27Feb with someone who has cheated, you can be sure that they are good at lying and living a fake life.

With other people, there's a better chance they might be genuine.

Where there is a marriage where one person has been suffering abuse/sexual deprivation for years and they cheat = imo no they won't be a regular cheat

Man is fed up of wife and bored with kids then looks for excitement= he will cheat again and again

@quitelikely5 --- women in abusive relationships who start new relationships are very likely to end up with another abuser. How should they get out of that mess? Getting involved with yet another man while still with one?

It's a cycle, too. A sad one that I don't feel any judgment for, but still a cycle.

It's my experience that, by and large, when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy. But then, I'm currently in a rather adulterous profession, as have been my previous two professions, so I admit I may know more openly adulterous people than most. (Please note: I am not, however, and never have been )

Fineoldcriminals_im intregued .
Could you elaborate on your profession?
I don't think the ops statement is true or false, everyone is different.

Charles and Camilla strike me more as the type to swing or have an open marriage than to cheat.

FineOldCriminals - are you a police officer? I heard they’re notorious for shagging around.

It's more likely I think, to cheat again, but not guaranteed.

My recent Ex did cheat, however he never cheated on his first wife, and I don't think he will now after we split.

Obviously makes me feel a bit rubbish! How do I know? He had only ever had sex with his first wife, thought he was unattractive, and painfully shy, very down for years. Divorced. Found his confidence, realized he was not bad looking really, realised he was quite sexy, and went a bit mad in a teenage mid life crisis kind of way.

He met me mid way, fell in love but didn't stop. Felt like this was his last chance of freedom. I found out and he realized how awful it was and became totally ashamed. It's ruined our relationship, but I don't think he will hurt someone like that again.

"However affairs are not always black and white despite what MN would have people believe."

I disagree slightly because there is a difference between an affair and a one night stand that isn't the result of an ongoing emotional affair eg too much drink.

To err is human BUT to err repeatedly is cruel and unashamed behaviour that indicates a personality that doesn't care for the needs of their life partner but only for their own needs.

There are serial cheats and people who make mistakes, and people who weren't really in love with their original partners.

My ex cheated on me with his now 2nd wife. Information I have learned since suggests he cheated repeatedly during our short marriage. He has cheated repeatedly on his 2nd wife too. He's also on several occasions propositioned me inc the night before their wedding. I don't personally understand why she stays with him but I suspect there's a level of emotional abuse there. I only recognised after our split that he was emotionally abusive to me and she was barely 17 when they got together AND he was her boss. I feel sorry for her.

With regard to certain professions being more likely to contain cheaters I think it's more a case of certain professions are more attractive to risk takers and provide more opportunity for cheating.

As an ex nurse with a police officer brother and my father and ex were both military, all areas of life that tend to have more cheating going on. If people are more likely to be away with work, or work shifts and so can claim they're 'working late' it makes it easier to cheat.

Graphista good point - opportunity is also a factor. Let's just say I'd never trust anyone who works on news- in any capacity whatsoever - and aid workers are also a bugger for "emergency sex". It makes sense, though, that adrenaline junkies in one area of life might also seek to replicate that elsewhere. Mind you, I suspect forensic accountants also have their adulterers amongst their number.

In all honesty, if someone wants to cheat, for whatever reason, they'll create the opportunity, whether they're in Middlesborough or Mogadishu.

I am interested in this thread.

My exH - I now think - married me because I was smart, capable, funny, fertile, and trustworthy.

He has had affairs (two that I know of) with women who are smart, capable, funny and available. Women who played the game and went along with his pursuits. What faded in our relationship (novelty, adoration, devotion) he simply sought elsewhere. As long as his current partner continues to provide the worship he seeks, I see no reason for him to leave her. The pressure is all on her now: but without children, she has only him to devote her energy to, and that will suit him just fine.

In my experience, yes they are more likely to do it again.
The friends I have who have cheated on partners have done it in virtually every relationship they've had whereas my other friends have never cheated at all. I know of more who have done it in many relationships than have only done it once.

My ex cheated on two people, one of whom was my best friend at the time. I split up with him and he got with my best friend. I remember asking her why she didn't think he would do to her what he did to me and she told me 'because what they had was different'. They got married and he has had numerous affairs (we are no longer friends but still have mutual friends). I think people getting with someone who cheated often kid themselves on that they have something better or more special than the original relationship but I believe that a person who thinks it's ok to cheat or who doesn't have the strength of character to ignore temptation or address issues that may lead to them want to cheat (or walk away if these issues are insurmountable) then that kind of person is likely to do it again.

I think it is true.

Cheating is almost always done in cold blood and not the heat of the moment as it requires planning and deception to assure you wont be caught. If someone is capable of doing it once not caring who they hurt, they are capable of doing it again.

I once had an affair and the damage from the fall out was so awful for all four parties that if I were to get in another relationship I'd never do it again. I was naive.

My first husband cheated on me, despite having always said how awful cheating was and that it was something he would never do. He blatantly lied to my face, even when he risked my sexual health, rewrote history to justify himself and showed only self pity when he was caught (not a shred of remorse). The kind of cheater he was will undoubtably cheat again. In fact I know he has cheated on various new partners and he tried several times to sleep with and reconcile with me when he was with the OW. Someone in an unhappy relationship who met the 'love of their life' and regrets the deception of their affair? Not guaranteed they will cheat again.