how do i deal with snobby mums snubbing me?

[snoopy2]

This problem has gone on for too long! I chose to send my dd to a village school (i grew up in the village, attended the same school etc) but some of the mothers beggar belief some days. Some times they blank me, sometimes they say hello then continue to talk about themselves for ten minutes while my eyes glaze over in UTTER boredom. What is really getting to me is that their kids have started to snub my dd of late and it is really really pissing me off.

What gets me is that i actually teach some of these mothers kids music! But they still look the other way!

Am sick of it and now my dd is getting upset cos one of the kids had a birthday party and she wasnt invited. she went last year and the year before that.
What shall i do, am so angry. These women are down right snobs but my parents have ten times the amount of money, land etc than all of them put together but i never, ever discuss it.

gosh, you sound like you have bit of a chip on your shoulder. Eyes glazing over in boredom? Maybe you give off bit of an unapproachable air?

Oh my goodness. I'm not the most assertive person so can't give much in the way of advice, but wanted to bump your thread and will watch with interest!

I hate stuff like this, it's like being in Year 10 or something.

no chip at all! thats actually quite funny...

Do you know any of these women from childhood? I mean, were they also at the school like yourself?

yes it is like being in year 10 and i can imagine it happens all over the world but,

LLAREGUB: i am more concerned with my daugher being snubbed and i am very approachable thanks

I meant the year 10 thing supportively, it's so pathetic to be snubbed, but really can be hurtful. Poor dd.

i only know them from my daughters school. My son is now at a middle school and there is no snobbery there at all, in fact i have quite a lot of friends there.

Bring yer mates to the playground

that has crossed my mind...

Do you have a friend you could go with for a few days, a very gregarious approachable friend?

I'd throw a party and invite them all myself.

Feel for you don't think you have a chip on your shoulder at all. All I can say is keep smiling and then they will think you have a happy life and not at all affected by their silliness. The more you look happy maybe they might start wanting to know why!

Well maybe your dd wasn't invited to this girls party - because less kids were invited. Doesn't this happen when your kids get older and you stop inviting the whole class.

There is a huge group of very boring, aspirational mums at my DS1's school who I have nothing in common with and find utterly dull. It's a mutual thing and thats fine. Luckily it is a year of 60 kids and I have done lots of fundraising for the school so widening my acquaintance circle and have made some good friends.

I think you have to forget about being friends with the mums - focus on the kids. Invite your daughters friends around for playdates, if you get return invites great but don't sweat. In doing this you will get to know the mums better, certainly on speaking terms if not on best friends terms.

good idea i dont want to be best friends with any of them as i do find them dull and "old" if you know what i mean but to see my dd really upset got me very angry this week.

It does work.

I have made friends with one mum at the school who has a great social network and so do her children. They are always having people over, being invited.

It was her advice to start inviting kids over without their parents. Mums like their children being asked and especially when you tell them how angelic they have been.

TBH you sound exactly like me, reasonably well to do, rich parents but unmateralistic. More interested in what people have to say and how they treat other people. Its not a mix a lot of people find easy to deal with.

we sound very similar! I love talking to people about stuff, not who has what etc. I cant beleive the mumsnetter "LLAREGGUB" feels i have a chip on my shoulder! Thats a classic...