Are you able to have sex without developing feelings or attachment?

[Transcendence]

I realised quite a long time ago that I'm just not able to have sex without developing a certain level of attachment. And I'm just curious as to how common it is to be able to have sex without feeling any sort of attachment or emotions at all afterwards?

The majority of my female friends I've discussed this subject with have said they are able to completely separate sex and emotions and that it's easy to have sex without forming an attachment.

But then again I only have sex with men I already really like/love so the attachment is there already really, prior to sex....?

@alisvolatpropiis I can relate. Have you ever tried to have a one night stand or other form of emotionless sex?

I've never had a ONS

For me there has to be feelings there BEFORE I have sex.

I don't judge others who have ONS's. I just couldn't imagine having sex with somebody I didn't have any feelings for what so ever. That, and the thought of a random persons bodily fluids near me makes me wanna vom

Only if there's something else about the guy that rules him out ie. I once had a FWB who was gorgeous to look at but had a voice like David Beckham. No way I could have taken him seriously as a love interest.

Bad sex has been known to stop me from forming an emotional attachment. OTOH, good sex has led me to think there's more to it.

I briefly tried to do a fwb situation but it just didn't work out. I don't do casual, I'm not made that way. Have wished I was on occasion but as I'm not the only thing I can do is make sure I look after my emotional well being when it comes to sexual partners.

As it is now, as a single parent who works full time, I wouldn't bother with any man who was just after sex. My time is precious and I don't want to spend it with anybody who isn't fully on board. However, I can see the flip side of what I've said perfectly well and wouldn't judge another single parent for preferring a more casual set up because their time is precious. It's all about perception and knowing yourself I suppose.

Yes, I have a high sex drive and had lots of sex with different men which had nothing to do with love/emotions and if I weren't married, I would still be doing so. As long as I found someone physically attractive, I could have sex with them. Some was great, some was rubbish but no regrets.

I had a fabulous fuck buddy for years. We would fuck, literally sleep together then go our own ways in the morning. There was mutual respect for each other, great sex but no emotions.

Yes easily. I’m not single now but when I was I had a harem of fuck buddies, all of whom were great in the sack but i wasn’t remotely interested in as boyfriends.

For me love and sex are two totally different things, even now I'm married. I just don't have an emotional reaction to sex.

Had many a ons and fwb in my younger years. I mainly can separate sex and feelings.

There was one fwb that was a friend beforehand who I did become more attached too. We just fizzled out. We now have play dates with our kids. Much better as just a friend.

I don't think I could.
I met my DH at 16 and he's the only person I've ever had sex with. I've never experienced sec without love, so I think it would probably feel wrong to me.
I don't judge those who do have "no strings" sex though.

Depends who it's with. I've had one night stands and been able to keep my emotions separate as I took it for what it was, but with someone I really liked, having sex would make me emotionally attached and then I'd feel empty afterwards. Sex for me now has to involve love. I think the best sex is with someone you love and I can't imagine just having sex for the sake of sex.

@Eolian do you notice a difference between sex with a partner you love and one night stand sex?

Sorry - didn't see your question! Not in terms of emotion, no. It's different because you know the person so well, but I still see it as an enjoyable, recreational activity rather than an expression of emotional connection. I always have, regardless of partner.

I don't like the idea of a ONS for me because I think it wouldn't be the sort of sex I enjoy. But I've had fun FWB sex - they do have to be an actual friend, though. But as above, no snuggles, no soppy talk etc.

It doesn't begin to compare as an experience to proper, intimate, emotional sex for me, but it's still fun. Like a takeaway compared to a lovely restaurant meal. Still food, still tasty, a nice experience in its own way, but somehow a bit lacking.

Yes I have. But the sex wasn't great!

If the sex is brilliant I was always coming back for more, I'd call that an attachment.

That's just a physical reaction to pleasure.

Yes I can. I've always been like that. I'll probably get flamed for this but when I was an addict I had sex for drugs.