Do they all just want sex?

[Costaricachica]

This is hopefully lighthearted...

I have been single for a several months now after finally leaving a long abusive relationship. I feel I'm really finding myself again and am happier than i have been in years.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm really ready to date or anything yet but since remerging on social media, a few exes from my younger years/'near misses' have got in touch to say hi! All well and good, nice to catch up with old friends/ practise a bit of flirty banter...however, they all seem to be after sex! Even the married ones!

Am I being oversensitive or is this how it goes nowadays?! I thought people used to arrange having a drink to catch up - rather than cut straight to the chase?

Yeh I agree , while I think he would never do that I will only ever trust him 95% ( id never say that to him) which is sad but past experiences stick with you I guess , even though I always suspected the exes who cheated were "that type" I dont think il ever trust anyone completely however nice they seem . as I say it's sad but when you've been hurt I think it's just how you end up!

I'd had boyfriends all my adult life, until I was 33, when I was single for a year. I was really shocked. Women in relationships see the worst of one man. Single women see the worst of men at large. They all come out the woodwork and they don't even try to be subtle. They expect you to be grateful for the attention. That year changed my opinion on men in general. As pp have said, if I ever break up with my boyfriend I will never date again. It was sheer, dumb luck that I managed to meet him. You are not being oversensitive OP.

It is sad. My whole view of life has changed.

And now I'm going to be upset if I don't get men swarming to shag me now I'm single 😂

Don't worry user you will . All it takes is one oblique reference to your single status. They're cheeky, they treat social media as a cheap alternative to a dating site

Hahah oh don't worry user I'm sure you will!!

And yes that's the other thing aside from the pricks that have cheated on me iv also had it from the other side men coming on to me who are married / in relationships .
Seriously even if I liked you as a person or found you attractive the fact you would cheat on your other half is an instant turn off for me anyway soooo
Good luck with that !!!

After being married for 20 years and then divorced, the biggest change I noticed was that when I was single 30 years ago it was the norm to be faithful whereas now, it's the norm to be unfaithful.

I wouldn't want women to think that all men are like that.
To be honest , it isn't a big issue for me and any new GF would have to make a good part of the running because i wouldn't be pushing it !
I guess i prefer a friend,companion and also maybe a lover in that order.

"I wouldn't want women to think that all men are like that."

Better have a word with other men about their behaviour then, rather than scramble to convince women that they cannot possibly mean a man like you.

OP, many of my newly single friends have said the same, it's definitely a thing

Yep when I seperated from DH for a while at the beginning of this year I had one direct offer and two dinner dates offered but I was a bit suspicious of those. I had been friends with Mr Direct offer for ten years and we had all been out as couples, very sad.

And online dating is worse !

Men admit on plenty of fish that women are as bad as the men so these men are taking advantage of the situation .

I've been single 4 years and this year has been the worse I've ever known single men.

Where are all these men women seem to get to go on a date with? I can't remember the last time a guy msged me and offered a date , they now offer to come round to watch a DVD (do women really still fall for that !) Or go for a drive (so obvious!)

And if I see the word FUN mentioned again... the word in any context now makes me cringe !
No wonder we've all become picky!

I agree with somebody upthread who said the amount of taken men who approached her when single has ruined her trust - ditto.

Oh no!! Definitely is a thing then! It does make me slightly pesimistic going forward.

Ditto whoever said up thread that it's a turn off ever dating them in the future as you know how disloyal they are.

A few old male pals have messaged me genuinely to say hi...a few exchanges of what we've been up to. End of - thats normal!

Some haven't even been subtle...no drink offer....straight to trying to hook up/ offering to come round! And the cringy sex talk too...urgh! No thanks, I'll pass on that.

numbmum83 - that confirms everything i suspected about OLD. Definitely not ready to dip my toe in that pool yet! Need to get a much thicker skin first.

Oh yes. I found this. Quite a shock 4 years ago being newly single with a small child.
8 'friends' on Facebook approached me.
All in relationships/ married!

It's very sad, I've also been lead to believe the women are worse than the men, the men are merely taking them up on their offers.

I just wondered if those approached by attached men let their OHs know? I'd definitely want to know if my partner was hitting on other women!

Shocking isn't it...their photos say doting husband/ father but in reality total chancers!

I haven't approached any of the wives/ partners. I know I'd want to know if it was my fella. I really don't need the drama though. I'm sure I'm not the first one they've attempted to tap up for some extra marital nookie.