Relationships ad anxiety

[Louw12345]

I suffer from anxiety and manage it well most times however since August iv been up and down. I put it down to stressing about money for uniforms getting the kids back into school and me back in uni.

My partner and I are so happy, but he doesn't understand my anxiety. If I'm quiet which I do when I'm trying to resolve something to do with me or stressed with the kids Or get used to a new routine.

He will constently ask me questions after questions. Then make it out like he's doing something wrong. I feel like I'm being pulled in and It makes me worse.

We don't live together so I guess it harder for him, but for me I like/need my space at the minute. I have 5 children and go to university.

I sometimes feel that I'm being selfish but then I find myself doing things to please him like having a drink at the weekend (I like a drink but not every weekend sometimes he brings a bottle in the week to)

I wish I could explain to him better about my anxiety flare ups but I honestly dnt know how to.

Personally, I think you need to work on your communication skills regarding your anxiety. Your partner is not a mind reader. It's not fair to him for you to go silent and leave him hanging as to what the problem is. Talk to him about your anxiety. Tell him as best you can what it feels like and what tends to set it off. I have had issues with anxiety so I know how awful it can be. I found talking about it with my husband to EXTREMELY helpful. Bottling it up only makes it worse. When I have a "flare up", I tell my husband how I'm feeling and then he knows my quietness or weird attitude isn't about him at all. I either need him close by or I need space, and I tell him this. I literally say "I'm feeling anxious right now. My throat feels tight and I'm not sure why." And then we talk about it. My husband has also educated himself about anxiety by reading articles about it which has helped him understand it much better.

I do that but only when he's asked which is wrong of me and I must work on that.

Tbh sometimes I'm unsure it's anxiety iv never been this bad before.

Today iv been to uni for an hour done a food shop been stressed out had a nap seen to the kids I'm sat down now and just want to cry because I know iv upset him. We talk alot in the day time and I know put routine is going to have to change. Just as much as mine and the kids
I struggle with change it takes me time to adjust. Which is something else he knows as he says this to me.

I just feel sometimes that when I ask for quiet time or space he says so what does this mean about us living together. Or does this mean I'm not over tonight.

I do want to see him but now I feel like I'm seeing him coz iv upset him meaning I'm pushing my feelings to one side again, which o feel is half the reason I end up like this

It sounds like he is adding to your anxiety.

TBH with 5 kids and being a student, I'd bin off any relationships until you're in a better place. Tell him you're up for a FWB but nothing more. If he's not down for that (which he won't be, as he likes to manipulate and control his partners) then you move on and find someone who's up for it.

Is he a generally needy DP?

He sounds insecure

Yeah he is needy but iv told him im not into that. I nothing like his ex I don't need all his time or him around me all the time. he's learning. It's just when I'm. Like this he gos back to that state of mind.

Iv been with him over a year he already knows about uni etc. So I just think it's coz I'm like this which is bad this time. Iv been at home since may couldn't get a job which also knocked me abit so now I'm. Climbing the walls then reality hits and I'm. Back in uni it's time mangament if anything for me. But it takes me to time to get sorted in my head if you get me?

That's how a feel he's insecure which makes me think when he's saying stuff it isn't coz he cares it's coz he wants a reaction. Which I won't fall for but then I think does that mean he doesn't think I want to be with him anymore