Living in a place where people are unfriendly ...

[GetsMeDownABit]

I just was interested in people's views on this.

I moved somewhere a few years ago which is very pleasant in many ways. I moved from a big, friendly(ish) city. I don't want to go into detail too much as it might out the place, and me too. But its in the South (where I'm from).

Anyway, one thing I've noticed is how unfriendly people are, generally speaking. I've made the best of it, I have a few friendly contacts, but sometimes the insular, unfriendliness of it gets to me. I'm even thinking of moving again, this time to somewhere more open and friendly, though this would not be easy to organise. Or perhaps its just that the UK has become less friendly generally, or I have become more happy-go-lucky!

Has anyone else experienced this?

**inchyrablue

Yes. We moved from a big city renowned for being unfriendly (though we have always found the opposite) to a small town. What was hard wasn't so much that people were unfriendly, but that they were actively unfriendly i.e. Would make a point of excluding/being really rude/downright frigging nasty. They also spend lots of time on social media telling everyone how friendly and welcoming they are and what great community spirit there is.

We concluded that some people are just unpleasant, and it is easier to ignore them in a big city.

Is it a small town/village in the Waterside area of Southampton, by any chance? Lived there for a while and found the people there to be very insular and rude, despite the local Facebook group stating how welcoming and friendly the community is.

They also spend lots of time on social media telling everyone how friendly and welcoming they are and what great community spirit there is.

Haha, yes. I've noticed this too and wonder whether the promises of friendliness on social media are indirectly proportional to how friendly the place actually is?!

We lived in a town in Cumbria for a few years and tried so hard to make friends but God they were all so unfriendly. Moved to Manchester and much happier.

I'm from London, and have lived in 5 different areas of it. I've also spent lots of time socialising in, and visiting different areas of London. I generally find most of it fairly friendly, and some areas very friendly, but I'm now living in a part of West London in which the people are desperately unfriendly and miserable.

I don't understand why the people here are like this. The area is very conveniently located, has gorgeous properties, has brilliant transport links, and has lots of shops and amenities. Many people rave about the area, and my DH and I loved it when we used to come and visit at different times of the day when we were property hunting. Actually having to live here though is just 'something else.' There is no community atmosphere, people are extremely rude and miserable and unfriendly, and I hate it with a passion. I limit going out here, as when I do, it exhausts me - makes me feel so depressed and miserable and lonely. When my family or friends first visited, they thought the area seemed really lovely, but then after 2 or 3 visits and without provocation from us, they started remarking on the 'miserable, rude, stuck up bastards,' in the words of my Dad.

If we could afford to move we would, but it'll probably be impossible for a good few years.

So sorry Argeles That sounds crap. Also in London. Sometimes I do a 'lets see how many replies I get to "Good Morning" test.' Just because I'm bloody minded. The results can be depressing. I have found that as the area has become more gentrified and house prices have soared so has the rudeness and unfriendliness. No idea why, but I've had several things like politely making way for people with babies and prams to pass, ie. standing aside, and received not one word of thanks.

It's horrible as I'm a friendly person and can make me feel more down if things aren't going well. Once the DCs are completely independent I'm off. Yorkshire sounds appealing!

People are seriously unhappy these days. I think its a sort of collective cognitive dissonance....

My friend from Liverpool has recently moved to West London and says she's been freaking people out without meaning to by smiling, acknowledging or even worse talking to people on her daily commute. She's learning to stay silent and avoid eye contact.

I get what you mean yolofish. Its having people you have things in common with and if you are a bit unconventional (I am a single woman in a place where nearly every woman my age is married for example) it seems harder somehow!

Though I am also curious about Pallas comment about people being seriously unhappy these days - collective cognitive dissonance was interesting. The miserable, blank faces I encountered the day I started the thread were something else. But I will soldier on and find happiness where I can .

The south, especially London and the South East, is more densely populated and people are, on the whole, busier.

Travelling on the tube, getting your kids to school across London, commuting etc all takes a lot of your time and doesn't leave an awful lot of time for pleasantries. Everyone always seems to be in a rush.

However, I do think it is unfair to declare that the people who live there are unfriendly. I'm from the north of Ireland but have lived in London for many years. People are very friendly, in the right place at the right time.

@Allwashedup are you referring to Hamble by any chance? God it's awful.