Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you say this person is on drugs?

28 replies

Transcendence · 19/09/2017 00:15

I was due to go on a 3rd date with this guy this past Sunday. Previous dates have been great. He is horrible at contact in between dates. It's mostly by text and he is really bad at stringing a sentence together via text and all his messages are cringeworthy. But the dates themselves have been amazing. To give background: we met by chance in real life, not had sex yet but made out fairly seriously on 2nd date.

So Sunday came and went and didn't hear from him. We hadn't decided on a place and time. I didn't contact him because frankly this isn't the first time he's been flaky like this and I felt it better to wait and see if he is capable of actually making proper plans. Today he finally gets in touch to ask how I am. I replied:

"Weren't we supposed to be going out yesterday?"

His reply:

"Was we....oops.... I've not been so well since last week...just waiting to get better before I come n see u."

My reply:

"Erm....that's interesting."

His reply:

"U don't believe me. I don't talk about illness...but will be proper better by end of this week...and then I'll come and give you a proper good night" [followed by emoji with its tongue hanging out]

What the actual f*ck?

This is a man in his 40s. I'm just wondering if there is something wrong with him mentally. I know he was smoking huge amounts of weed every day (or so he said) but he claimed to have stopped just after het met.

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 19/09/2017 00:18

"Was we..." That would have been it for me!

Anecdoche · 19/09/2017 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 19/09/2017 00:21

Just after you met?? The weed i mean. Is this person in drugs? Yes move on!

Penguins333 · 19/09/2017 00:21

'I don't talk about illness' ohhhh ok big boy. This would piss me off more than if he was eating drugs for his breakfast lunch and dinner. What an utter twat. I don't think drugs are your main problem with this one op. There are other, issues...?! He could be flaky for a million reasons, doesn't necessarily mean he's on drugs. Lots of people take drugs and function professionally and socially. You can't always tell to be honest.

ElmerFudge · 19/09/2017 00:21

Wouldn't bother with him...

Penguins333 · 19/09/2017 00:22

Oh and if he has been smoking weed and still is smoking it in his 40s I don't think he has quit coincidentally after 2 dates. If drugs bother you then don't bother with him I think.

Transcendence · 19/09/2017 00:24

Grin Grin

OP posts:
Transcendence · 19/09/2017 00:25

I don't have especially strong feelings about drugs, although I've absolutely no interest in actually taking drugs. I'm just extremely alarmed by his bizarre behaviour.

OP posts:
Penguins333 · 19/09/2017 00:26

I think he is just bizarre op, you've met a crazy. There are many of them about - steer clear! X

Aquamarine1029 · 19/09/2017 00:36

Jesus Christ. Run for the hills. You're crazy if you waste one more second on this flake.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 19/09/2017 00:36

And he sounds a bit thick

PointlessUsername · 19/09/2017 00:41

I woulf have presumed he was a lot younger by his choice of phrase via text.

The drug use would put me off more than anything else.

Transcendence · 19/09/2017 00:49

I feel snobbish saying so but yes he is a bit thick I think Sad

OP posts:
Transcendence · 19/09/2017 00:52

I'm not continuing to date him. However I am hoping to learn from my mistakes here. Like, why did I tolerate him even this long. I don't want to just make the exact same mistakes again in future.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 19/09/2017 00:52

Oh god no. Just no.

Transcendence · 19/09/2017 01:21

pretty much! Shock Confused

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 19/09/2017 08:04

The wheel turns but, the hamster isn't on it.

Not necessarily drugs but, he's not interested. Move on

TableMirror · 19/09/2017 08:08

"Was we..." That would have been it for me!

This.

SealSong · 19/09/2017 08:10

Lol at hamster analogy!

OP, you need to set your sights a lot higher than this waster.

ShatnersWig · 19/09/2017 08:14

Christ why would you have even got to a second date if that's the level of communication?

Does not compute.

Never ceases to amaze me what people will put up with when there are really nice decent long term single people who behave really well they could go out with instead.

TDHManchester · 19/09/2017 08:16

No,,i dont know you OP but i feel you deserve better. Eject>> Now.

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/09/2017 10:18

'Was we' might just about be forgivable, but his use of 'u' and 'n' instead of 'you' and 'and'?

And he's in his 40's????

Dear Lord.

seasidesally · 19/09/2017 10:23

he is trying to be cool with his speech

he sounds unreliable and flaky at best

finish it he will only bring you a huge head fuck

Offred · 19/09/2017 10:29

His behaviour doesn't seem alarming to me! It seems like exactly what you'd expect from a man in his 40's who smokes a lot of weed - flakiness, immaturity, illness, no motivation, emotional problems...

macandcheesewithbacon · 19/09/2017 10:30

They read like texts from my 19 year old illiterate nephew - he has severe dyslexia and dropped out of school aged 14. Might be a lovely guy with poor language skills but if he wanted to impress he'd check the spelling etc surely?