DH is, apparently, not sulking, he is just not talking to me.
I've asked what the difference is and he says he just doesn't want to talk to me right now.
It all kicked off because I told him to do the dishwasher instead of asking. He thinks he does loads round the house. I think he doesn't.
Just some context so not to drip feed. He works, I'm a (reluctant) SAHM. Studying at the mo and looking for a job but live rurally and I do loads of taxiing the children. At the weekends we share that and he has to cook sometimes as it's the weekend and I think that should be shared.
I asked him to cook today. Then because he just shrugged when I asked what he was going to cook, I had to think about what it should be and buy it. He said the kids can cook instead, so one of them did as she loves cooking. So I turned to DH and said 'you can put the dishwasher on' because I didn't want him to get someone else to do it. I appreciate I should have asked but now it's escalated. He had a hissy fit and is now not talking to me. He wouldn't play a planned board game with the children if I was going to play and is now sleeping on the sofa.
He says I don't tell him what to do. However, I think I have to as quite often if I ask him to, say, do the dishwasher at the weekend he will say the kids can do it. There's loads of things I do that are invisible to him, the wifework of a marriage.
He has a history of what I would consider quite PA behaviour and can't deal with criticism or confrontation. So in the past he has not spoken to me, said things like 'if I'm such a bastard why don't you leave', walked away when I've been talking etc. I did think it was my fault and wondered why I would say things that would kick it off. Now I think differently. This would come round in cycles but I thought, after dealing with the problems in an adult way, we had turned a corner. He would state calmly what it was that I had done that he didn't like, for example, and I would refrain from doing that. Fair enough.
So I guess now I have to wait until he decides that he is talking to me. I am currently feeling like I'm being punished, there's an atmosphere in the house, I'm all churned up and walking on eggshells as obviously any future way of talking to him that he doesn't like might be met in the same way.
I'm not a sulker so I'd like to know if there is a difference and is there anyway I can deal with it. It's so hard to think of anything else and it makes me feel down. It is so exhausting.