New job. Huge change for DDs

[Upyerbum70]

First things up - I guess I'm not great with change so I appreciate I'm overthinking and generally stressing in a not-very-useful way.

Lone parent. DD 1 is 12, DD 2 is 8. Spent 6 years in completely crap job that means I can be at school to drop off/pick up DDs. Do another freelance job from home in evenings. Spent 7 years volunteering in limited spare time . Now I've been successful at getting a paid position with my volunteer organisation so can give up shit job. Training starts in 2 weeks. But it's shift work. And just the initial training makes childcare tricky. I'm Flapping about going from weekly to monthly paid and to cap it all
ex does bare minimum of childcare and just looks at me with contempt and confusion when I ask him for more support in childcare. He's a total epitome of Disney dad and has no idea of the day to day slog. I'm also worried about how my lovely DDs will be when I start as my mum is coming to stay for a few months til I get into the swing of things. She's not very proactive and tends to just sit in a chair silently. (Long story). Not sure she could even muster a meal.

All my friends keep saying it's a great move for me and aren't I excited? But my head is all over the place I can't think straight. Tell me I'm doing the right thing getting a career back (was made redundant on mat leave 8 years ago). Rambling now. Pretty miserable.

It's tough OP but you need to just wade in and give it a go. This is the kind of thing that you just work out as you go along.

It is stressful, but it's temporary while you sort yourself out.

All change, no matter how positive, is stressful so don't beat yourself up for feeling this way x

Your doing the right thing. I've worked part time for years, similar ages to your dd, been a single mum and am now looking for full time work.
You will all benefit. And congratulations on your new job

Congratulations on the new job. Sounds like a great opportunity! Yes yes yes you are doing the right thing. The logistics might take a bit of getting used to but you will do it. Good news too that your mum is on hand. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter if they spend a few weeks watching TV and being ignored as long as they are supervised and safe. Perhaps make sure they have hot lunches at school and leave a 'packed tea' or ask your Mum to make them a sandwich?

Making a similar big step on the career ladder as a single parent, it's scary as fuck, but I know it's for the best, for me, and dd, and our standard of living,

A very wise person once said to me, it's a job. You aren't being sold into slavery. And it's true, try it. It will probably be fine, it might not, but if it isn't then you find something else,

Thank you. DDs aren't small - they won't starve. DD1 has even used it as a chance to explore the world of cooking. God help me.

Just feel like I'm pushing water uphill. Im 47 and starting with emergency services and DD1 is so pleased for me. I rang the council to change my council tax re new job (complicated story) and the woman on the other end of the phone was so pleased for me (re the job) that I felt myself welling up. WTF???

You'll be fine and just think of the example you will be giving to the kids about going for your goals etc and doing things to make a better and happier life for you all

Definitely doing the right thing! Congratulations!
New career = happy mum.
Happy mum = happy Dd's.
I am a single mum, half way through my nurse training and rely on my mum to help with childcare as my dd's (same ages as yours) father doesn't help AT ALL!
It's been tough juggling, also organising my mum (who sounds a bit like yours) to organise my dd's but I know its all worth it. Its our only choice for a better, happier future. You kind of get used to the chaos, and make the most of your time off with your dd's. Your eldest sounds sensible. It will be a good life skill to learn to cook. Also remember every working mum feels an ounce of guilt somewhere along the line.
Good luck in your new chosen career. You will make it work whatever...thats what us mums do :)

Thanks Cupcakes.. you sound like you're doing a great job. An inspiration. Good luck with the training. And to all those parents fighting against the employment tide.

I guess I just have to plod on with it like the rest of us. I get A bit wobbly with the bloody injustice of everything .. especially work place rights etc. I'll be asking for some flexible working hours in new job, but not til
I've got at least 6 months under my belt. Hoping this time next year things will be different. Anyone else got any positive and uplifting 'new career' stories?

I think you are marvellous OP and DD1 sounds like an absolute gem. 12 is definitely old enough to take some responsibility for cooking and you see it recommended all the time that DC that age should be able to cook dinner for the whole family, regardless of necessity! Best of luck with everything and congratulations on your success in getting to where you are in spite of adversity.

Your dds have years of stabilty to fall back on. You have nothing to apologise far. As said having your dm as a safe person is great..as they probably are quite independent and you wont be working 7 days a week. They will adjust. Im sure your dm will move when no other adult in the house. Try and make sure stuff like washing gets done so you are not facing all that when your day off comes.
You will enjoy the new challenge.

Thanks everyone. I feel better after a wobble. I can't bloody wait to hand my notice in to crap job. I've literally waited years to leave.

My DM does wash up and is a little obsessive about washing so I guess we will have clean pants and cups, if nothing else. No spare bedroom though so it'll been a bit of bed juggling. It's not much of an issue when I read what other people are going through on this site, thanking my lucky stars that I'm physically fit enough to get this job. Thanks again