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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please - sisters controlling ex threatening to move back in tonight

37 replies

smartiecake · 15/09/2017 19:21

Advice needed please.
My lovely Sis split with her ex Partner over 3 years ago. Joint house and joint mortgage. He moved out. She is still in the house and has been solely responsible for mortgage, bills, upkeep of house in this time. Her ex has been hassling her to sell on and off. She has now decided to move out and they sell the house so she can get away from his control - he comes and goes as he pleases and takes the piss in so many ways. She has told him she wants to sell. He has now said only if he gets more equity than her or else he is moving in - tonight.

She is very worried he will and he is a complete tosser so we knew he would be difficult. They have one child together.
She has already seen a solicitor - she can't change the locks or keep him out as he owns half the house. They are also entitled to 50% each of equity unless she takes him to court to pursue more because of the child.
I have told her to call the police and get it logged so that if he does turn up later - which I fully expect he will- she can call and hopefully get someone out and some support. It is all about the control with him.
What else can she do to keep him out and stop him moving in. Any ideas?
Seriously worried about her

OP posts:
Cupoteap · 17/09/2017 07:36

If she changes the locks he can legally break in it's his house too!

Then she has a choice: give in to what he wants or go legal. It's not a nice choice, none of it is nice.

Lostmyillusion · 17/09/2017 07:43

He can't break in if she is in there, that's covered under a different law. I would urge her to go for an occupation order, clearly stating that it's for the benefit of the children until the house can be sold. Do that now and then sort out the rest later.

Cupoteap · 17/09/2017 07:51

Which law? It's not what I was told by the police?

Butterymuffin · 17/09/2017 07:56

SHL time.

smartiecake · 17/09/2017 08:50

She is calling a solicitor tomorrow and hopefully they will help. I will mention occupation order to her today. Thanks all. If only it was as easy as changing the locks. The Police have been very sympathetic and have referred her to a DV charity for the coercive control and mind games etc. Hopefully they will get in touch soon as well. I think it's going to be an ongoing nightmare for a long time yet.

OP posts:
Lostmyillusion · 17/09/2017 21:14

I can't remember which Law it is cupoftea but collaborate linked to it a while back. Doesn't prevent them breaking in when you're not there though.

Manclife · 18/09/2017 06:31

@PigletWasPoohsFriend she doesn't have to provide a key. That's for people who rent.

If he forces his way in he's commiting a criminal offence (if someone's inside).

Section 6 Criminal Law Act:
Violence for securing entry.
Section 6 creates an offence of using or threatening unauthorised violence for the purpose of securing entry into any premises, while there is known to be a person inside opposing entry. Violence is taken to include violence to property, as well as to people.

Cupoteap · 18/09/2017 07:02

Thx both. That makes sense.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 18/09/2017 07:13

So someone who owns a house doesn't have the right to a key for the house? Ridiculous.

Manclife · 18/09/2017 13:04

@PigletWasPoohsFriend not from a criminal point of view no.

Mary1935 · 18/09/2017 13:11

Hi I thought if he'd moved out and has lived somewhere else and perhaps he has another home with either a rent agreement or pays council tax he legally can't move back in. He gave up his rights when he moved out. Bloody bully!!!! Good luck.

Manclife · 18/09/2017 15:33

If his names in the mortgage/deeds he's as much right to be there. Him getting in however....

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