Why cant i just get over it and be physically attracted to my guy

[Putyourclotheson]

I will be burnt at the stake for my post but this is just how things are and how i feel about them ....cant help what i feel!

I split up with my boyfriend, (lived together) about 12 months ago. We had been together for four years and lived together for two of those.

For various reasons things got difficult, the usual, finances, life, jobs, spare time, not doing things together. But the main issue was unfortunately his weight :(

In the years we were together his weight climbed to a huge 25/26 stone . Although I loved him, I no longer found him physically attractive and it was breaking my heart to watch someone i loved basically kill themselves. So we split up and have remained friends, really good supportive friends. We had many discussions about his weight and he used to promise to address it but never did. After we split up i hoped beyond all hope that it would perhaps be a wake up call for him to start to look after himself but nothing changed.

Whenever, we see each other I love him but i cant get over the weight, its so sad. I wish i could just be with him and love him and his weight etc but I just cant. I cant be physically attractive to this guy and i so wish i was because for me the physical attraction is so important.

My heart is breaking

You just can't, it doesn't work that way. I'd feel the same, I think the majority would.

Everyone is allowed to be attracted or not to different sizes. I think sometimes people on here forget that. When men leave after women become bigger (or even raise it as an issue) than they find attractive they are unfairly flamed but we are all human and we all have limits. They women who say man should not comment about a woman gaining weight though so probably come and flame you. They wont cause they are hypocrites.

Was there a reason for the rapid weight gain and how big was he before then?

You will get absolutely no criticism from me. Not only is morbid obesity a massive physical turn-off, it's also reflective of other huge issues. Laziness, lack of motivation, lack of concern for his own welfare, health, and lifespan, and a disregard for how you view him.

You can't get over it. 165 stone is huge, it's exactly twice the weight of the guys at my office (I overheard two talking about how much they weighed).