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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't like my DH monday-Friday

3 replies

astrongdrink · 14/09/2017 20:02

DH is a teacher. It's unbelievably stressful and the workload is immense. I accept the workload etc.
When I met DH it was during his 6 week holidays 7 years ago. He was energetic, happy, creative, adventurous. We continued dating and I noticed a slight change in him when he returned to work. Aside from being busy working, his appearance seemed to slip, he became quite lethargic, lazy in some ways but then always seemed close to the man I met before during the weekends. I accepted it and have always tried to understand where his job is concerned.
However, DH and I are now married with DCS and I've really come to dislike the person he is during term time Mon-Fri. He's so lethargic, difficult to make conversation with, ignorant, dis-interested, can't be bothered with appearance, goes to work in scruffy clothes, won't get his hair cut or shave. I've asked hI'm if his job makes him depressed and he tells me not, but the change between work day DH and half term/6 weeks holiday DH is massive. He's raring for life when he's not at work and so different.
I guess the issue is that DH is at work more than he's not and this scruffy, lethargic, can't be bothered with anything DH is becoming a problem for me.
I've explained I'll support him should he change career, I'll take on more hours so he can work less, but no, he refuses to move from the rut of teaching. It's like he's blind to the impact it's having on him and as a result, me. I don't fancy him Monday-Friday one bit!

OP posts:
Pombliboo123 · 14/09/2017 20:05

I don't have any real advice but me and DO don't get on very well during the week (he is a plumber) for the same reasons you have listed... 4pm on a Friday through til about 9pm on a Sunday night we get on like a house on fire!

user1480334601 · 14/09/2017 20:05

Sounds like he's putting his all into his work during the week so has no energy left for workday evenings? Is he passionate about teaching do you think when he's in the classroom? If so that could he admired in my opinion.

MsAwesomeDragon · 14/09/2017 20:20

I'm a teacher and I think I might be like your dh on weekday evenings :( I love teaching, and really, really love being in class with the kids, but it drains me and I find that I just don't have the energy to do much in the evenings. By the time we've had dinner and I've put dd2 to bed I have to get on and do some marking/planning so can't really spend time with dh watching TV or anything. It's not intentional, and the past 2 years have been particularly bad due to the new GCSE syllabus, the next 2 years will be bad as well due to the new A level syllabus.

What needs to change in order for you to like him more? And does he have the energy/headspace to make that change? What are you thinking of doing if he can't/doesn't change?

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