I grew up with a lot of that. I used to also think that my home had to be like that because following the rules is the right thing to do. I constantly used to judge what we were doing by whether my parents would approve.
We now live thousands of miles away and I have finally (mainly) got rid of the internal voice telling me off all the time. I'm also working really hard on not letting myself become like this (the article says how these get passed down. I was in danger of replicating this because I thought it was my duty to act this way! It's so not how I actually feel, I realize).
When we go to visit family, it is really very obvious how different things are. We often do the same activities, ie go out for a walk, but we don't do it in the same stressful, we must stick to the rules, kind of way.
I'm also very keen on letting DD make her own decisions. She's 14, and I'm really trying to teach her that her own feelings and decisions are good & valid ones (most of the time).