Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Small irritances, sign of bigger problem?

13 replies

fransil · 04/04/2007 18:08

Just lately my partner has a knack for annoying me, without meaning to. He says the most annoying things and I just snap instantly but I don't know if I'm justified in getting annoyed or if it's a sign of something deeper.

For instance my cousin and his girlfriend have just bought a nice big house in a good area, I told my partner who replied "oh, maybe they're getting ready to have a couple of kids?" It's like everything is so black and white to him, like he believes that if a couple want kids they just make the decision and a few months down the line 2 kids pop out, it makes me so angry the way he thinks everything is so simple and easy.

A family member died recently and we went to the cemeteray to try and find his grave but couldnt so DP says "oh it's ok, we'll just give s*** (my aunt) a ring and ask her where it is....I've not spoken to my aunt for ages, we don't talk like that as a family and apart from that she was extremely close to this family member, as if I can just phone out of the blue and ask that

He says stuff like this all the time and it boils my blood, justified?

OP posts:
cori · 04/04/2007 18:17

I don't think it is justified. He is just making small talk, etc. I dont know if it is sign of a bigger relationship problem, but i know i had similar reactions before I was diagnosed with PND, it is an anxiety and control issue also in my case. How are you otherwise?

fransil · 05/04/2007 16:02

I do get annoyed quickly at other times but nobosy annoys me more than he does, he just doesnt have a clue about anything. When I told him I was going into scrapbooking he said "oh? is that like cutting magazine clippings out etc?" yeah I'm going to go through magazines cutting stuff out and sticking them in a book for no apparant reason.

When we were getting the bus a few days ago he said to me "how much is it for the kids? 15p or something?" erm yeah, maybe 20 years ago it might have been...why on earth would I complain about the cost of the busses if it was that cheap?

OP posts:
lulabelle · 05/04/2007 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobsyouruncle · 05/04/2007 16:27

My dh really winds me up with some of the things he says too. I think its because he speaks without apparently thinking - he admits it too! Whereas I tend to think about something before I'll say anything, so it REALLY winds me up when he says something daft & it sometimes lead to arguments... I love him loads though honest

Anniegetyourgun · 05/04/2007 17:07

Well what is scrapbooking then, if it isn't cutting things out of magazines and sticking them in a book?

cori · 05/04/2007 18:10

Well, its only my DH that really winds me up too. I think I feel 'safe' getting angry with him, rather than other people.

I also dont know what scrapbooking is

BecauseImWoeufIt · 05/04/2007 18:16

It does sound unreasonable, to be honest. But it sounds like you're really irritated with him and anything he says or does is just making that irritation worse.

What is the real problem here? There's obviously something more serious.

Fubsychicksnbunnies · 05/04/2007 19:36

Sometimes "small talk" can be so boring and mundane it makes you want to scream!

My DP is so desperate to avoid talking about anything useful (like why our relationship is crap) that he will drone on for ages aboput the latest exciting programme he saw on UK History, or the length of the traffic queue at the roadworks.

I can quite understand Lulabelles comment!

lifesteeth · 05/04/2007 19:39

My partner is like this too, I tried to start a meaningful conversation last night and he managed to turn it into talking about cars. Again.

obimomkanobi · 06/04/2007 10:23

It sounds like the guy is just trying to make conversation.

You reaction could signify one of a few options:

  • The relationship has gone past the point of no return

-You are just an old curmudgeon.

-You are depressed.

How is your relationship in general? Do you love him? Do you like him?

I actually feel a tiny bit sorry for him!!

lazyemma · 06/04/2007 12:27

I don't know what scrapbooking is either. He was just trying to show a polite interest, probably - more fool him!

frenchconnection · 06/04/2007 12:47

oh god this sounds just like my dh and me..

5 yrs ago we were madly in love and i thought he was so perfect (always the way,isnt it?) but now EVERYTHING he does winds me up til i snap!
-The way he chomps when he eats
-His nasal breathing
-The stupid things he says
-The way he hypes up the kids right before bedtime then they cant sleep
-His stupid wonky glasses for reading
-The way he dumps his filthy clothes on dining room table and muddy trainers in middle of room
i could go on and on and on

thus we are separating as it wont get any better for us

lupo · 06/04/2007 13:40

No, not justified and quite unkind actually, your poor dp. Dh does this to me sometimes and really makes me question our marriage when he does. Its really not nice being on the receiving end of this type of treatment

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread