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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to help a friend who's having relationship problems?

6 replies

revolution909 · 14/09/2017 12:11

My closest friend seemed pretty distant for a it I thought it was because of X, but it turns out she's having massive relationship problems. I was able to get it out of her and she ended up crying. She claims her DH has changed , that he's distant and simply isn't interested in helping her. To us (my DH and I) he seems a lot happier than we've ever seen him so we're assuming the change is really in their relationship. My DH and I have been trying to figure out a way of helping them, but he's not that close to him. I'm closer but I think that could get awkward. In the end we're friends with both of them but he genuinely seems happier and we don't want to wreck that for him. Maybe it's just best to keep our distance? We love them both so it's a bit hard for us :(

OP posts:
Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 14/09/2017 12:12

Ow maybe?
You best keep out of it.
Be sympathetic but don't slate him - she won't forget it if you do.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 14/09/2017 12:15

Support and listen to your friend but don't go approaching her husband, that's not yours to poke.

Frankly it sounds from your description like he's having an affair, so I'd mentally brace yourself for another woman to emerge at some point.

TheNaze73 · 14/09/2017 12:32

I would not say OW. Most men's happiness I don't think is around relationships new or old per se.
I bet it's work related

revolution909 · 14/09/2017 12:35

He actually did change jobs quite recently and that's why he think he's so happy. She's been telling me he's changed for some time now though. Maybe around March/April. Back then it was just something that bothered her, but now it's clearly depressing her.

OP posts:
TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 14/09/2017 12:47

I don't claim to be an expert, but a lot of people on the Relationship boards will say that an H becoming distant, unsupportive and uninterested usually indicates another woman in the case.

At any rate if she's very distressed and he won't discuss it their relationship is clearly in trouble and likely to end, so it doesn't really change the advice either way. OP, you seem to have already chosen your side so that's really all you can do.

revolution909 · 14/09/2017 13:02

I don't know if I would take a side, yeah I'm much closer to her than to him, but to be fair she's also changed. She decided to stop all of her MH meds cold turkey. She tends to override his decisions sometimes is shouty, etc. So I can understand he might have had enough but I don't think they even talk about it

OP posts:
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