Interesting reading on the Sex Starved relationship......

[MeMeMeMe123]

www.thebookoflife.org/the-sex-starved-relationship/

Highlighted in bold is a direct quote from the article. It has articulated what i never could. It has described perfectly the benefits of sex in a relationship.... for me anyway.
Maybe slightly uncomfortable with the description of the rejected party's reactions, however, that's because i was that soldier.......

Anyone else?

Because in sex, two people accept each other in the most profound of ways. The apparently dirty and shameful sides of us, the wayward fantasies and the unusual longings, are legitimated through sex. Someone else witnesses and accepts us as bodily and psychological beings. Sex symbolises an end to loneliness and a reaffirmation of trust. Not daring or wanting to have sex with a partner is tantamount to admitting that one can’t be oneself in their presence.

Yep - kept telling me he was exhausted. I felt crap that I wasn't wanted. Finally has told me the truth and I feel like shit about it.

BS

wow sorry to read that

any other constructive comments or thoughts?

A bit psycho babble if you ask me, but broadly right IMO - it's acceptance of the other person (amongst other things), and the absence is (interpreted as?) rejection

That doesn't say anything about the underlying causes though

yes agreed. ive come to understand it as passive aggressive behaviour (in my case anyway) which has root causes that were nothing to do with me.
however i made the rejection all about me and what i was doing wrong and how he was such a bastard..... then again, his refusal to discuss, his lack of engagement or interest in sex itself made us just too different to work.

I could never go back.

I don't agree with it.

Thanks TheNaze - i broadly agree with your posts but am not sure what you mean by your reply? I suppose i am trying to understand something that there are no absolute answers to.

On re-reading the article it seems to put a greater weight of responsibility on the rejected..... .

Hello MeMe

It was the highlighted text I didn't really agree with.

I think a lot of people can have sex with someone who they have no connection with whatsoever & likewise, I've read lots of posts on here about people who've not DTD for 20 years but, are still very happy.

I've been happily single & had many a ONS. The sex was great but, wasn't celebrating the end of loneliness.

If you don't have sex you may as well be mates really, if full sex is an issue due to disability or something there still needs intimacy IMO or it is not really a relationship/marriage just house mates.

Thanks .... the author talked about the withholding of sex as being a consequence of their conditions not being met.
Some of the best sex I've had has been outside of a relationship... some happy memories!

I guess it's down to the physical and psychological chemistry between the parties concerned.

Something was seriously amiss when my husband couldn't look at me during sex, had no conviction whatsoever. I was definitely a receptacle and not much else.

Still haven't found the greener grass but I remain convinced it's out there.
Just a few stone away 😄